Graceful Gestures

A beautiful gesture is really a very rare thing – Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy Onassis

I fear our society has evolved into an extremely self-centered one. In these days of online networks and reality TV, everyone can claim celebrity. Oftentimes with celebrity comes an inflated ego, which can ultimately lead to forgetting everything Mama said about good manners.

Graciousness, perhaps, is becoming a thing of the past, and that’s truly a shame.

What many people don’t recognize is that exuding grace really sets us apart from the herd today. The gal who asks polite questions is far more interesting than the one who constantly runs her mouth, repeating the words me and I at lightning speed.

The winds may be changing, however; I’ve encountered several women recently who are tired of all the noise and rudeness, and want to know what they can do to make a difference, to perhaps go back to an era when wearing phrases across one’s backside was unacceptable.

They ask, so I offer two bits of advice:

1. Drop your ego at the door
It mustn’t always be about you, dear (and even if you feel it should, at least pretend that it’s not). Ask questions. Learn people’s names. Don’t prattle on incessantly (when the person you’re prattling on to becomes glassy-eyed, you know you’ve gone too far), and for heaven’s sakes, don’t make your conversation sound like a resume. If you’ve nothing pertinent or intelligent to add to the conversation, it’s far better to say nothing. No one will assume you’re an idiot; if anything, you’ll develop a bit of mystique. Remember that old saying about still waters……

2. Never, ever become an Interchangeable Woman (a phrase I snagged from writers Shelly Branch and Sue Callaway)
I’ve mused elegantly before about the IW. In case you’ve forgotten, she’s the gal who looks like every other gal these days: a trend-follower who perhaps has adopted the porno-chic look that so many have adopted these days. She might like to refer to herself as a diva. Some IW’s may even realize their outrageous behavior and assume others find it endearing. Trust me – they don’t.

Adopting a more graceful way of life isn’t that hard, really. It’s about enjoying life simply yet fully (so sorry to disappoint, but there is no ‘big bang’ that happens in life that will make one happy – one has to discover happiness on her own). It’s about following that old, clichéd, Golden Rule. It’s about treating ourselves, and others, with respect, and there's no greater gesture than that.

Beth Newman
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and live your absolute best!

Feminine Mystique

It seems that a growing number of women are entering into bolder and bawdier territory these days. At first I thought it was just me being a bit picky about proper behavior, but a remarkable number of friends – most of them male, have noticed it as well.

Now, please don’t get me wrong; I strongly believe that women must assert themselves. There is a difference, however, in asserting oneself and in coming on too strongly. Perhaps there’s some sort of misguided movement out there, leading women to think that the louder and raunchier they are, the better. It’s an attempt at getting attention, but what these women don’t realize is that they’re attracting negative attention. I’m no expert, really, but I’m told repeatedly by men of all ages that what they really want is a lady – someone who possesses that certain something known as feminine mystique.

In a world growing more outlandish all the time, to stand calmly apart from the din and clatter is quite appealing. Feminine mystique takes practice; learning a quiet confidence will certainly take a girl much farther in life than revealing outfits and obnoxious dialogue will. It requires, too, study and observation of those who have mastered that graceful position. Feminine mystique is possible, but it takes work.

It behooves a woman to dress and groom herself tastefully. It’s vital that she speak politely, without brass. Consistency is key, too – many women seem to fall more quickly into bad behavior whilst traveling in packs. We must always remain cognizant of who we are and what message we want to convey to the world.

I don’t mean to come down too harshly on my sisters. I’m merely trying to take what I’ve observed and what I’ve been told and to help empower women. We can be fabulous without being flashy. We can be strong without being salty. We can attract all good things through grace.

Designer Diane Von Furstenberg says, “I didn’t know what I wanted to be, but I knew the sort of woman I wanted to become.” It’s that sort of thinking that will lead a woman to ultimate success in all areas of life. We must know ourselves, and make sure that we’re representing ourselves as the women we want, and deserve, to be.

http://www.newmanimage.info