Success Strategies for a New Year

As a new year approaches, we tend to reflect on our lives and devise ways in which to make improvements. Obviously, a new year signifies a rebirth, of sorts – a time to review, revise, and perhaps reinvent. As I’m in the ‘makeover business’, I humbly offer the following food-for-thought as you make those plans for 2011:

1. Decide What You Want – We won’t find success and happiness driving aimlessly through life. We must come to terms with what it is we truly want. Years ago, I decided that full-time broadcasting wasn’t for me. I wanted to teach, and I did that in a traditional classroom setting for a number of years. I realized, however, that middle school English (as noble and rewarding as that profession is) was not where I needed to be. I wanted to instruct others on living well and abundantly. I wanted to help others find their style. I created a plan, and took steps toward bringing that plan to fruition. Scary? You bet! Sailing into unchartered territory always is. My faith and unwavering support from my husband, my family, and my friends helped guide my way.

2.Surround Yourself With Success – We won’t climb higher by hanging out in the ‘Woe is Me’ club. I encourage you to seek out others who have what you want. Hob-knob with the truly happy among us. Bask in the positive vibes of those who have your best interest at heart. Seek those who live serenely and joyfully. It’s time to divorce ourselves of those who bring us down and make us feel less- than-fabulous.

3. Act (and LOOK) the Part – One of the best keys I’ve discovered toward any sort of success I’ve had is by playing make-believe! I started to play the part of a successful person, and very soon doors opened that allowed me to achieve many of my dreams. Too often, people downplay their outer image, thus hindering their chances of reaching certain goals. Track suits, grungy jeans, and crocs do not scream success. Clinton Kelly says, ‘The way you dress tells the world how you expect to be treated.” Do remember that the next time you head out the door.

4.Find a Role Model – Whom do you admire? What traits do they possess that you wish you possessed? Find out as much as you can about that person, and adopt those habits as your own. For me, Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis comes to mind. Her sense of style, her mystique, and the way in which she gracefully overcame tragedy are only a few of the things I admire about her. Insure that your role model is someone who contributes positively to society.

5. Turn off the TV – As I child, I learned the concept of ‘Garbage in, garbage out’. Whatever we put into our heads eventually comes out through our hearts. If we absorb the bad behavior we see on ‘reality TV’, then we’ll soon discover that we’re channeling a great deal of negativity. Say ‘no’, I implore you, to dumbed-down ‘entertainment’. Set your sights on only those things that uplift you. Get out and visit with your neighbors. Go for a walk. Talk to your spouse. Call your mother. Find ways in which to make real connections to real people.

6. An Attitude of Gratitude – When we choose to focus and give thanks for the good things in our lives, more good things come our way. It’s true! God, The Source, or whatever you choose to call it, reads our signals. When we feel grateful for what we’ve got, that higher power gives us even more. Ignore the bad stuff – none of it means anything, anyway. We’re here for only a short time. Let’s be grateful for every second of it.

It is my sincerest wish for you that 2011 will be your happiest and most successful yet!

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach/Author
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

My online course, New Year, New You begins Monday, January 3. Details on my website.

My New Friend

I met the most fascinating woman this week.

Our introduction occurred in a clothing boutique. I struggled to determine her age (it’s impolite to ask, you know). Twenties, a very good thirty-ish…I couldn’t figure it out, and of course, it didn’t really matter. We began chatting, and I found myself totally in awe of her. She’s tall, with the most beautiful, unruly head of hair I’ve ever seen. Her deep, smoky voice rarely rises above a whisper. She revealed very little about herself. Originally from New England, she made her way to Texas last year because she felt ‘it would be best’. I don’t like to pry, but I confess I could not wait to hear her story, because I knew it would be absolutely delicious.

Randomly, she asked about my posture. I told her that standing up straight was merely a habit, and anyone could do it. “I want you to help me,” she said, “feel free to physically straighten me up anytime you see me slouching.” There’s no small talk with her; she gazes into your eyes intensely, asking questions, and really wanting to know things about you.

She has no car (not even a drivers’ license), and lives ‘with a few people’. “I like to work,” she said. “When I’m not working I’m at home. I have no family here. What else am I going to do?”

By this time, I’m bursting with intrigue. Her mysterious aura mesmerized me. I want to know everything I can about her!

“Have you read The Secret?” she asked. Of course, I have. “What about The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success?” I explained to her that Chopra’s little guide was the one that got me started on my journey toward enlightenment. “Me, too….yeah, me too….” She responded dreamily.

All I could gather from our first conversation was this: she’s smart – almost ‘scary smart’. She’s taking steps toward finding out ‘what it’s all about’ (her words). She’s been in some trouble that’s separated her from her family. She doesn’t party, because she’s ‘done with that scene.’

And here’s the kicker: she’s only 18-years-old.

She carries with her such presence, such mystique, and such confidence that I naturally assumed her to be older. She possesses that certain something that a few women spend a lifetime seeking. She’s not interested in figuratively purging herself as so many are. In a day in which anything goes, she’s guarded enough to keep others coming back for more – a breath of fresh air, to be sure.

We’ve talked every day this week. She asked me if I might serve as ‘a bit of a mother figure – nothing heavy’ for her, since her own mom is so far away. Having no children of my own, this is the sort of request that really gets you right where you live.

I’ve often heard about old souls, and I know I’ve met a few of them in my life, but none has fascinated me more than this young woman. A kinship between us already exists – one that I cannot explain. And I look so forward to seeing where this ride may lead.

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!
Online consultations available!

The Herd

I’m not sure who Heidi Montag is, or why she’s famous, but I can tell you one thing: she doesn’t look like she did a year ago.

The other night, Kent and I snuggled in to watch The Late Show with David Letterman. When Dave’s guest, Claire Danes, took the stage, Kent commented, “She looks just like everyone else in Hollywood.”

What has Bruce Jenner done to himself?

I’m all for a subtle tweak here and there, but I fear our society’s obsession with youth, big lips, uber-golden-locks, and disproportionate boobs has reached an all-time, outrageous high.

I base much of my business on helping others look their best. I preach the gospel of Jackie O. Yet I’ve never suggested anyone go under the knife or have something injected in order to reach her style goals. People should look like …well…people.

I understand that celebrities must resort to certain measures in order to remain employable. In her book, Everything About Me is Fake and I’m Perfect, model Janice Dickinson discusses in great detail her ‘upkeep’ in order to keep working. With all due respect, Ms. Dickinson has crossed the line. Her once-gorgeous face now appears frozen, with only a slight hint of the beauty she once possessed. The same holds true for Meg Ryan. And I fear Nicole Kidman – one of my personal style role models – is dipping her toe a little too far into the scary plastic pool as well.

People with a little character to their faces appeal to me. My jaw literally dropped when Lauren Hutton guest-judged on last week’s Project Runway. She looked fabulous! Yes, lines have formed on her face, and yes, that famous gap between her teeth remains intact, but she possess a presence that so many models and actresses don’t.

And that’s what’s missing in the world of celebrity these days: a presence. It’s that sense of self-awareness and the ‘I’m somebody’ vibe that separates the delicious from the dull. It’s not about looking a certain way – it’s the confidence that one oozes when she (or he) knows she (or he) is fabulous.

Something tells me Ms. Montag, and so many like her, lacks that security. Thanks to reality TV and the internet, we live in an age where darn near everyone can achieve fame. As a result, those who may not necessarily have the talent to maintain that status may resort to some disturbing measures.

The overly-peroxided-blonde, big-boobed, bigger-lipped gals bore me to tears. I’ll take a flat-chested, red-haired Debra Messing over them any day. And while you’re at it, pass me Penelope Cruz’s nose and Catherine Zeta-Jones’s hips. Oh, I’ll take a few Mick Jagger crevices, too. Throw in a Tina Fey scar while you’re at it. It’s the little (and sometimes not-so-little) things, after all, that set us apart from the herd.

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

Holidays and Happy Days

I suppose I was about four years old. Christmas loomed large; our small home sparkled with multi-colored lights, my mother spent hours whipping up all sorts of holiday treats, and I learned a great lesson about the true meaning of the season. I didn’t learn it from my family or in Sunday school. I learned it from the coolest cat around in the mid-1970’s: The Fonz.

In the early episodes of Happy Days, Arthur Fonzarelli had yet to ingratiate himself into the Cunningham household. He was merely a hoodlum mechanic who spent a little time with Ritchie and the gang. One Christmas, though, he found himself alone. He gave the guys some story about visiting relatives in another town. Everyone bought it except Ritchie and me. I knew Fonzie was to be alone, and it made me sad…very, very sad. I remember fighting back tears, my young heart aching for Mr. C to invite the Fonz to their home for Christmas.

Finally, Mr. C and Ritchie went to Fonzie’s place and confronted him (this was before the Fonz moved into the Cunningham’s garage apartment). They tried every trick to get Fonzie to join them. “We’ve got a great big tree!” Ritchie proclaimed. “I got a tree,” Fonzie replied. The camera cuts to a small, sad-looking table-top tree. I cut to the bathroom, where I had a good cry.

I finally got control of myself and was able to catch the last five minutes or so of the episode – a happy ending, of course. The Fonz spent Christmas with the Cunningham family, and I realized that Christmas wasn’t all about the glitzy lights, the presents, and Santa Claus. It was about reaching out to those who needed it, and offering the best present of all – our time. The best part about it, of course, is that it need not only apply during the holidays.

Happy days, indeed, are the result.

Beth Newman
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

A Charmed Life

A flower without perfume is like a personality without charm (Eileen Ascroft)

Through her teachings of etiquette and charm, Ms. Ascroft stressed one thing: no woman, no matter how beautiful or clever she may be, can live her life fully without utilizing charm. The good news, of course, is that every woman is born with charm; it’s our birthright. Today’s society, however, doesn’t necessarily lend itself to charm, and this is unfortunate.

With a little guidance and patience, tapping into charm can be quite easy.

The first step is in getting to truly know ourselves. Too often, we merely say to ourselves, “I’m this…” or “I’m that…” without taking the time to reflect in silence our likes, dislikes, beliefs, and ideals. Most of us spend precious little time in the mirror determining ways in which to enhance and improve our outer beauty. We allow magazines and television to guide us, and as a result end up in unflattering outfits and displaying unflattering behavior.

We spend an outrageous number of hours flitting from one bad relationship to the next, hoping to find our new best friend or soul mate. This futile endeavor leads us to frustration and trust me, there’s no charm in that. Spending our time wisely with positive, uplifting people is certainly a better route, don’t you think?

Poise has certainly gone by the wayside these days. Many women proudly display the diva or bitch (pardon my language, please) badge and honestly feel that their loudness, their rudeness, and their overall bawdiness is endearing. It’s not. (A side note: these seem to be the same women who complain incessantly about not having a man…hmm…I wonder if there’s a connection.) The charming woman is the woman who knows how to enter a room gracefully, turning every head as she does so, without having to say a word.

The charming woman is also the one who is looked upon favorably because she’s kind, speaks ill of no one, and smiles genuinely. She’s dressed conservatively yet spectacularly. She stands up straight and sits like a lady. She dances like a lady, too – no rumpy pumpy pole moves for her!

You’ll discover, too, that the charming woman has a wonderful sense of humor. She’s witty, and would never resort to cruel or crass jokes.

Most importantly, the charming woman enjoys her own company and feels truly happy on the inside.

I firmly believe, as Ms. Ascroft did, that every woman wants to get the best from life and make the most of her opportunities, appearance, and abilities. Charm is the magic key to happiness and success. Every woman possesses the seeds of charm within her. She has only to learn to liberate it.

Beth Newman
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and live your absolute best!
The Magic Key to Charm online course coming soon. Visit www.newmanimage.info for details.

Graceful Gestures

A beautiful gesture is really a very rare thing – Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy Onassis

I fear our society has evolved into an extremely self-centered one. In these days of online networks and reality TV, everyone can claim celebrity. Oftentimes with celebrity comes an inflated ego, which can ultimately lead to forgetting everything Mama said about good manners.

Graciousness, perhaps, is becoming a thing of the past, and that’s truly a shame.

What many people don’t recognize is that exuding grace really sets us apart from the herd today. The gal who asks polite questions is far more interesting than the one who constantly runs her mouth, repeating the words me and I at lightning speed.

The winds may be changing, however; I’ve encountered several women recently who are tired of all the noise and rudeness, and want to know what they can do to make a difference, to perhaps go back to an era when wearing phrases across one’s backside was unacceptable.

They ask, so I offer two bits of advice:

1. Drop your ego at the door
It mustn’t always be about you, dear (and even if you feel it should, at least pretend that it’s not). Ask questions. Learn people’s names. Don’t prattle on incessantly (when the person you’re prattling on to becomes glassy-eyed, you know you’ve gone too far), and for heaven’s sakes, don’t make your conversation sound like a resume. If you’ve nothing pertinent or intelligent to add to the conversation, it’s far better to say nothing. No one will assume you’re an idiot; if anything, you’ll develop a bit of mystique. Remember that old saying about still waters……

2. Never, ever become an Interchangeable Woman (a phrase I snagged from writers Shelly Branch and Sue Callaway)
I’ve mused elegantly before about the IW. In case you’ve forgotten, she’s the gal who looks like every other gal these days: a trend-follower who perhaps has adopted the porno-chic look that so many have adopted these days. She might like to refer to herself as a diva. Some IW’s may even realize their outrageous behavior and assume others find it endearing. Trust me – they don’t.

Adopting a more graceful way of life isn’t that hard, really. It’s about enjoying life simply yet fully (so sorry to disappoint, but there is no ‘big bang’ that happens in life that will make one happy – one has to discover happiness on her own). It’s about following that old, clichéd, Golden Rule. It’s about treating ourselves, and others, with respect, and there's no greater gesture than that.

Beth Newman
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and live your absolute best!

The Dating Game

My husband is a musician. Recently, at one of his shows, while he was rocking away on stage, a young man approached me to inquire about my status (quite flattering as I’m a good fifteen years older than he). Anyway, rather than walk away when I kindly informed him that I’m taken, he pulled up a seat and began lamenting the state of dating today.


“It’s so hard to find a nice girl these days,” he said.


“What do you look for in a girl?” I asked.


“I want someone who acts like a lady. I’m tired of all these girls who show up half-dressed and act like they’re porn stars or something.”


Pretty soon, his friends joined us, sharing the same thoughts.

“Sure, the girls who dress provocatively and come on strong get my attention, but only for a while. I’m over it already,” proclaimed one of them.


I’ve wondered just how long this porno-chic, diva-like trend would last. I’m no prude, but I’m quite appalled at the behavior I witness from many women of all ages. I realize the nightclub setting tends to lend itself to certain things, but so many gals these days leave very little to the imagination. Their manner of dress, the words they say, and the way in which they carry themselves is quite disheartening. Evidently, I’m not alone in the way I feel.


Later that evening, a dear friend of mine who’s in his mid-forties and still searching for someone special, concurred with what my new friends said earlier in the evening.


“One lady – that’s all I want. I guess they all must be taken.”


I’m sure they’re not all taken, and I’m sure there are some potential ladies out there who simply don’t know what to do. Ladies, let’s unite and bring back the elegance that’s missing. The men out there will appreciate it, I think.


Beth Newman
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and live your absolute best!

Living Art

I believe we’re artists, and as such we’ve the power to create the lives we desire. It’s a matter of tapping into our full potential, following our passion, and realizing that the universe will supply exactly what we need.

Too often, people allow fear to keep them in unhappy an unpleasant situations. They’ll endure an overbearing boss for fear of losing a job. They suffer through dysfunctional relationships in order to avoid living alone. Many are driven by ego rather than by passion.

Life is to be enjoyed, not endured. We must offer thanks for all that we have, and remain open to what we’re given and to receive those gifts graciously. We must realize our passion and follow it without apprehension.

I encourage you to view each day as a blank canvas. Each morning, ask yourself what sort of picture you’ll create. Will it be something bright, something concise, and something that brings joy to everyone – including you? Will it be something dark, something erratic, and something that does absolutely nothing for anyone – including you?

Pick up your brushes, dear friends, and create something fabulous!

Beth Newman

www.newmanimage.info

Look, feel, and live your absolute best!

Feminine Mystique

It seems that a growing number of women are entering into bolder and bawdier territory these days. At first I thought it was just me being a bit picky about proper behavior, but a remarkable number of friends – most of them male, have noticed it as well.

Now, please don’t get me wrong; I strongly believe that women must assert themselves. There is a difference, however, in asserting oneself and in coming on too strongly. Perhaps there’s some sort of misguided movement out there, leading women to think that the louder and raunchier they are, the better. It’s an attempt at getting attention, but what these women don’t realize is that they’re attracting negative attention. I’m no expert, really, but I’m told repeatedly by men of all ages that what they really want is a lady – someone who possesses that certain something known as feminine mystique.

In a world growing more outlandish all the time, to stand calmly apart from the din and clatter is quite appealing. Feminine mystique takes practice; learning a quiet confidence will certainly take a girl much farther in life than revealing outfits and obnoxious dialogue will. It requires, too, study and observation of those who have mastered that graceful position. Feminine mystique is possible, but it takes work.

It behooves a woman to dress and groom herself tastefully. It’s vital that she speak politely, without brass. Consistency is key, too – many women seem to fall more quickly into bad behavior whilst traveling in packs. We must always remain cognizant of who we are and what message we want to convey to the world.

I don’t mean to come down too harshly on my sisters. I’m merely trying to take what I’ve observed and what I’ve been told and to help empower women. We can be fabulous without being flashy. We can be strong without being salty. We can attract all good things through grace.

Designer Diane Von Furstenberg says, “I didn’t know what I wanted to be, but I knew the sort of woman I wanted to become.” It’s that sort of thinking that will lead a woman to ultimate success in all areas of life. We must know ourselves, and make sure that we’re representing ourselves as the women we want, and deserve, to be.

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