I tend to be a bit wary of people compelled to begin
sentences with “I’m the type of person who…”, for it’s been my experience that they’re
usually way off the mark when describing themselves. I also find it a bit strange because they
seem to be opening up a dialogue in which they’re the star attraction. As we all learned in our high school speech
classes, communication is a two-way street.
As we learn from self-improvement gurus, it’s better to listen rather
than to speak. So I find it baffling that
even though we’ve been taught not ramble on about ourselves, so many of us
spend a great amount of time doing it.
And doing it poorly.
Madonna encouraged us years ago to ‘express ourselves,’ and
following her lead, we did it. Madonna
is a self-promoting genius; we commoners – not so much.
In an age in which our personal revelations can be, well,
revealed, by the click of a button, many people assume that the general public
gives a hoot-and-a-half about what sort of person we are. We’re much too busy talking the talk and not
walking the walk.
I expect the spiritually in-tune woman who starts her day
with some sort of uplifting New Age-y thought to remain there, and not tell me
through her late night tweets how drunk she is.
I expect the man who proclaims to love and support women to
actually love and support women, and not belittle and yell at them in the
office.
I expect people who turn their bodies into walking billboards to come from some sort of hard-core place, not the PTA meeting.
It’s attention these folks are after, but what they don’t
realize is that they’re getting it for the wrong reasons: many of us are bemused, really, by your
seemingly duplicitous lifestyle. You say
you’re this, but you turn out to be that.
We know who you are, not what you are, because of your
actions. Maybe you want to be the person
you’re describing, but you’re not, darling.
Self-expression is important, don’t get me wrong. There exists, however, more sophisticated and
elegant ways of doing it. Living what
you’re expounding – that’s a start.
Getting to truly know who you really are – always a crowd-pleaser. Experiencing
real interactions with real people rather than by electronic means – why not
give it a try? Focusing on others rather than yourself – bingo! Reaching out in
love and compassion in order to help others – right on!
At the end of the day, we’re remembered for what we did,
rather than for what we said.
Beth Newman
Image Consultant, Mentor, Author
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!
