Sunday, April 20, 2014

Between God and Me

Although I acquired a snazzy new outfit, I didn’t go to church this Easter morning.  I recognize it’s no different from any other Sunday, really, but when a holiday rolls around I do like to put in an appearance –whether I have a new outfit or not.

But not today.

You see, God and I aren’t on the best of terms at the moment.

Now, before you raise an eyebrow, call the prayer chain, or (if you happen to be my dear mother) collapse into a fit of vapors, let me explain a couple of things.  First of all, my definition of God may differ from yours, and I appreciate you for respecting it.  In spite of what I do and say, I take my spiritual beliefs seriously.  Secondly, because my views on The Almighty are hard to explain, I shall refer to those views as ‘God’ or ‘He’.  Finally, I’d venture to guess that many of us have questioned our beliefs at some point in our lives.  If you haven’t, you’re either lying or are a much better person than I.

I have an awful lot of questions at the moment.  I know I’ve been a nag with regard to them, and for asking certain favors of God these past few weeks.  He, evidently, has had enough of my henpecking, and appears to be giving me the cold shoulder.  That’s fine, Big Guy – I'm feeling pretty tough right now, and am fairly confident that I can handle whatever you wish to sling in my direction.

It’s hard, though, to keep up my defenses and play along with His macho head-games.  As I scrawl out this little musing, baby ducks gather at my feet.  I’m outside, by the way, not in my office.  That would be weird, huh?  An occasional gecko sneaks in, but never a duck.  Gosh, could you imagine? I wouldn’t mind the ducks, but the mess and the smell would simply drive me over the edge.

But I digress.

Try as I might to withhold the fabulousness that is me (wink, wink or gag, gag depending on your opinion of me), God keeps sending tiny reminders that we’ll keep moving forward, somehow.  Sure, scars will run mighty deep, but we’ll make it – eventually, although changed.

I’ve had the chorus of an old Lyle Lovett song playing in my head today.  It’s called God Will.


God does

But I don’t

God will

But I won’t

And that’s the difference

Between God and me.


I think God gets the fact that although we’re ‘created in His image’ we’re certainly not wired as such.  I believe He’s okay with that and I think He’s okay if we don’t want to hold hands and sing songs of praise at this particular point in our lives.

He and I are at least back on speaking terms, with fewer insults hurled than in recent conversations.  We can actually have a chat without one of us getting snippy and storming out of the room.   It’s still a little shaky, but perhaps sooner rather than later we can sit around and swap stories like we used to.

And what stories they shall be, I’m sure.