Do-Over

Ladies, gentlemen, and undecideds:  it's a brand new year, and I'm sure many of you are chock full of hope and strong resolve to make this, 2015, the best year ever.

I sincerely wish you the best of luck.

Personally, I don't do 'resolutions' anymore.  I make a mental note of things I want to rid myself of and go from there.  I added a little punch to it this go-'round by attending a New Year's Eve bowl burning ceremony, which is not to be confused with something the stoners in your life might enjoy.  No, in this brand of 'light up', we write down bad habits, baggage, and other blah blah blah to banish, set it on fire, and drop it into the community kiln.  It may sound silly, but the act of it certainly elevated my spirits.  I won't share my entire list with you (it was long and much of it quite personal), so I'll just hit a few highlights based on random categories:

Community - I've leaned awfully hard on isolation in recent months, and getting back in 'the game' will serve me well, I'm sure. Many of us go into a new year with the intent of 'getting involved', 'helping the less fortunate', 'being kind', and we shouldn't sneeze at these sort of sentiments.  Specificity is key, however:  in other words, what action, pray tell, will  you partake in to make your community a better place?  For me, it's bringing back hats.

Home - our houses, apartments, campers, and tee-pees should serve as our sanctuaries.  Be they big or small, grand or dumpy, they should all be one thing:  clean.  They should also reflect who you are by way of furnishing and decor (mine currently reflects a borderline schizophrenic with a fondness for Mediterranean fabrics, rocks/crystals, and old Hollywood).  I call it 'entertainingly earthy', while others have called it 'Shirley McClain on a very tight budget').  I like it; it makes me happy, and I sincerely hope that your space does the same for you.

My fire-place.  These are Sea Salt candle-holders (a gift from my mother).  The rocks I collected from my vacation in Chama,  New Mexico.

I purchased this angel in Spain and gave it to my grandmother several years ago.  Nanny passed away in November, and I'm delighted to have this little trinket back.  She sits atop a glass bowl of crystals.

This photo of Dean Martin hangs in my downstairs bathroom.  That's amore.

Fashion - re-read my last musing from December, and review my previous comment re:  hats. (Side note:  I will be including 'look of the day' photos in future musings to show you, Sweeties, that you can look fab on a budget, and that you should look fab all the time. Get creative.  Here I am getting ready to run errands this morning:

Three-Way Poncho by Suzanne Sommers, pants by Target, the scarf was a gift from my mother-in-law, and I'm in sandals because 'pedicure' was on today's to-do list.  This will also be a chic napping outfit later today.

Overall self-improvement - once upon a time, I was a self-help book junkie, and if there's one thing I learned from my years of study, it's this:  they all say the same thing.  Pick one that resonates with you and go with it. Dr. Phil doesn't need anymore of your money, and you don't need Deepak's or Oprah's approval.  My personal favorite is Joan Crawford's My Way of Life, which I mused about last year during this time (see last year during this time).  She covers everything from organization to work ethic to fashion.  It may not be the most well-written book out there, and it certainly has its outrageously campy moments, but I can honestly say that it's one of my favorite books of all-time.

'Treasure yourself,' says Joan.  'Done,' says I.

Other random things we should all consider: 

-Eat healthy, but know that Kroger and Target carry hormone and gluten-free meats and poultry that are far more affordable than a certain healthy chain store that charges a week's wages for hamburger meat.

-Get on a good skin-care regimen based on your skin needs.  I'm on the verge of a birthday, so my needs are great.  If you're young and stay out of the sun, a good cleanser and mild moisturizer should do.

-Stop filling your mind/soul with garbage that passes for entertainment.  I'm currently enjoying Portlandia on telly, and I can't stop listening to Carlene Carter's Carter Girl album (which is not an album; it's a download on my phone.  I'm not that old or old school yet).

                                        She sure does look like her mama these days, doesn't she?

-Slow down, mind your manners, and display compassion for everyone.  They may look okay on the outside, but you never know what's happening behind closed doors.

-Speaking of 'behind closed doors', keep your personal business, drama, and half-naked selfies off the Internet.  I could also do without photos of your child's first kill of hunting season, but that's just me.  Oh, and ladies please stop with the duck-pout.  

I'm no expert; these are just a few tid-bits that work for me.  If you can use any of them, great.  If not, that's fine, too.  But if you do take anything away from this musing, let it be this:  hats.

Our Way of Life

Cheers, Sweeties, and Happy New Year to you all!  As the insanity of the holiday season winds down, many of us may find ourselves taking time for quiet reflection.  Perhaps we’re making resolutions, setting goals, and listing intentions that will make every self-help guru out there proud – and wealthy.  Let’s face it, we’ve so many ‘coaches’, ‘spiritual leaders’, and ‘success trainers’ out there that determining what’s best for us can be downright daunting. We’ve spent unspeakable amounts of money on books, courses, and seminars, and I wonder just how effective the deluge of self-help information out there actually is.   I’ve been guilty of the ‘you can do it!’ overload, so much so that when I go back and reread some of these musings I fall ill.  It’s not that I don’t buy it anymore – I do – but we’re so overrun these days with it that I’m officially over trying to contribute to it. 

Yet that does not mean I’m not seeking ways in which to improve myself.  As a matter of fact, I’ve discovered the one helpful guide that truly resonates with me. 

Joan Crawford’s My Way of Life.

 

I ask that you put aside any preconceived Mommie Dearest notions.  There are too many accounts out there contradicting the allegations made by Miss Crawford’s eldest daughter, Christina.  I won’t go into all the details here, for you’re quite capable of conducting your own research.  Although the film Mommie Dearest remains one of my campy guilty pleasures, I don’t believe for one minute she abused her children.  (Side note:  it is my sincerest hope that someday I, too, shall be in a position in which I must chop down rose bushes with an ax while wearing a full-length gown in the dead of night). 

Old Hollywood is a hobby of mine, and my studies over the years reveal that Miss Crawford was strict, disciplined, and extremely dedicated to success.  I admire those traits.  She was beautiful and stylish, which are always additional pluses in my book.  After reading My Way of Life and Googling Joan Crawford until I gave myself a headache, we might go so far to say that she was certifiably insane – another admirable trait, in my opinion.

I received this book from my sister, who so gets me and, well, my way of life.  Out-of-print for years, I’m sure she had to jump through myriad hoops in order to get her lovely hands on it.  I spent the whole of my Christmas vacation devouring it, and am compelled to share with you, gentle reader, a few of the highlights and advice Miss Crawford offers in order to ‘maintain your best, intelligent, enterprising, seductive self at all times’.

At the time of the book’s publication, Miss Crawford’s film career had all but vanished.  Aside from a few scant appearances on television, her primary role in 1971 was that of Goodwill Ambassador for Pepsi Cola. Her late husband, Alfred Steele, was president and CEO of the soft-drink company, and following his death, Miss Crawford took it upon herself to remain a vital voice within Pepsi.  She regales My Way of Life readers with stories of being busy…very busy…so much so that each and every day was a whirlwind of phone calls, meetings, appearances, and travel.  Yet in spite of her terribly full calendar, she still managed to look and feel fantastic.  How did she do it?  Read on….

 

Life in General

I’ve persuaded myself that I hate things that are bad for me-fattening foods, late nights, loud and aggressive people top the list.  I’m with you, Joan, and my intention for 2014 is to avoid all of the above.

We all have our problems, but I don’t inflict mine on my friends. Preach it, Sister.

I abhor dropper-inners.  Even my own children wouldn’t think of dropping in without calling to see if I’m busy.  I don’t like dropper-inners, either, and I’ll take it a step further by telling you that I don’t like phone messages or texts simply stating call me.  Give me a reason to do so, and I just might (I think I may have out-Crawford Joan on this one).

Marriage

Miss Crawford walked down the aisle four times, so obviously we should look to her as an expert on the subject.  She spoke lovingly of each of her husbands in the book, and that’s a good example for all of us to follow during any sort of break up.  Why waste energy playing the blame game? 

She advises us gals to take an active interest in our husbands’ careers.  I do that, but after having been called everything from Yoko Ono to Lucy Ricardo, I’ve backed off…..a little.  I say follow JC’s lead, but understand your audience.  Mr. Newman is no Douglas Fairbanks, Jr., and vice-versa.

Entertaining

 

You may say to yourself, I’m not Joan Crawford.  I can’t afford trainloads of caviar.  I don’t think I need to elablorate on this, but I will tell you that it was a favorite line bandied about the Newman House during our holiday hosting preparations.  It replaced our usual Do you want our guests to ring in the New Year constipated? line.

Home Décor

Be prepared to spend a sinful amount of money and go through an awful lot of trial and error until your home is absolutely perfect and a true, tasteful reflection of you.  Miss Crawford muses about early decorating mistakes before hiring a team of professionals, and shared a story about a wall-paper so busy that ‘Judy Garland fainted and had to be carried out of the house’.  As an amateur Judy Garland historian, I think I can safely say it wasn’t the wall paper that caused Judy to pass out.

Traveling

Most of Miss Crawford’s travels required no less than fifteen suitcases.  By the time you have your German maid, Mamacita, place tissue paper in each sleeve, the old ‘roll it’ method simply won’t work here.  Factor in your matching hats, gloves, and shoes, and it should be no surprise when your house-man, Mr. Grant, must make numerous suitcase-laden trips to a waiting limousine parked out front by the tennis court.

 

Looking the Part

 

Miss Crawford’s secret for beautiful skin and hair can be summed up in one word:  mayonnaise.  But not just any old mayonnaise – one she made herself to insure that no harsh chemicals were used.  I like it!  In order to maintain one’s figure, she recommends several While Doing Something Else Exercises:  knee bends while scraping carrots, arm flexes while on the phone, etc.  Good tips, but the one I like the most proves tricky to do while you’re doing something else.  It requires you to sit on the floor and walk your buttocks across it.  I tried it, and definitely felt the burn in my core region.  I was also pleasantly surprised to discover a nice sheen on my tile floors afterward, so, yes, I suppose this counts as a two-for-one deal.

A Touch of Magic

The final, all-too-brief chapter discusses what I think should be the most important aspect of anyone’s way of life:

Charm isn’t something you can turn on like a tap with a pretty little-girl simper.  Charm is an ease with people – all kinds of people.  It’s wanting to be a giver.  Responding, communicating, having a genuine interest in people.  Try to make it a part of your way of life.

I shall, Miss Crawford, and thank you.