Wordly Wise

Words equal power.


In this day of instant communication, and society’s seemingly incessant need to purge itself at every turn, we forget this. In my quest these last couple of years for something more substantial, I’ve discovered that there are consequences to the words we choose. Joel Osteen refers to it as speaking a blessing – when we proclaim ‘woe is me’ or ‘my ex is a worthless sack of you-know-what’, we are ultimately putting the kibosh on good vibes intended for us.


You may not believe in God, or any sort of higher power; that’s your prerogative. You might, though, agree with me that sorry, negative language never benefits anyone. Sure, you may feel better after popping off at the distracted woman behind the counter, but odds are you’ve just ruined her day. She, in turn, will most likely let her ruined day affect someone else. It’s called the ripple effect.


Author and success coach Jack Canfield says that one of his requirements for his staff is that they must avoid negative comments and words while at the office. Mr. Canfield knows that we cannot achieve success if we’re not speaking positively and for the greater good of all involved.


There are four avenues of communication I’d like to share with you today. My intention is, at the very least, that they provide some food for thought.


Social Networking
I suppose the posts I read each day through the likes of Facebook and Twitter got me thinking about the way in which we communicate. I know far too much about people – some of whom I’ve never met. I encourage you, Gentle Reader, to carefully consider everything you post. When you speak ill of someone, it reflects poorly on YOU. I know we must vent from time to time, but the Internet is not the place to do it (unless, of course, you start your own blog like I have ;) Keep it light, breezy, entertaining, and informative. Thank you.


Sarcasm
Now, don’t get me wrong. I tend toward sarcasm on a regular basis, but it is always in jest and only with those who truly know I’m acting silly. There exists a fine art to sarcasm; one must practice it, hone it, and only use it with those who know you well.


Swearing
I’ll admit it: I swear. Not regularly. As with sarcasm, I only do it –on occasion – to get a laugh out of my loved ones. I know my audience – that’s a big one. Words acceptable to my sister may not be appropriate to use in front of my mother. Words acceptable to my mother may not be appropriate to use in front of my grandmother. Timing is everything, too – letting an expletive fly after stumping one’s toe, or following a mascara wand mishap are understandable. Peppering one’s daily language with dirty words is not. To me, those dependent on foul language in order to make a point or to tell a story, come across as uneducated and ignorant.

Oh, and don’t get me started on children who swear. It’s not cute and shouldn’t be encouraged.

Grammar
I’m a former English teacher, so humor me, please. Much of the general adult population needs to go back and review what we learned in middle school. As with swearing, grammatically incorrect conversation benefits no one. If you feel as if you need a quick review, pick up a copy of Clinton Kelly’s How to Be Freakin’ Fabulous (ironic he includes grammar lessons in a book with the word ‘freakin’ in the title, but it’s his book and he can call it whatever he likes). He’s got fun examples on proper parts of speech and correct usage. You can click the Elegant Reading tab here on my blog to order a copy.

I encourage you, Sweeties, to take care when communicating. Represent yourselves well. Insure that what you say serves as a blessing to others…and to yourselves.

PS…If you’ve enjoyed today’s little musing, I’d like to tell you about the Elegant fund I’ve established. Proceeds benefit a wonderful organization called Girls, Inc. To get the scoop, visit http://newmanimage.info/Elegant.html


Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach/Author
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

The Big Bang Theory

Gloom, despair and agony on me
Deep, dark depression, excessive misery
If it weren’t for bad luck, I’d have no luck at all
Gloom, despair, and agony on me.

Oh, my lord – I’ve resorted to quoting from Hee Haw.

But I do it to make a point.

Too often, people merely sit around in tattered overalls sipping their moonshine from jugs waiting for something big to happen. (Okay, maybe not in overalls and perhaps no moonshine’s involved, but bear with me – I really intend to go somewhere with this)

They spend a tremendous amount of time thinking, If only I made X amount of dollars. If only I could lose X number of pounds. If only I could find a man. Then, all would be right with the world.

Of course, disappointment sets in because their desires were not manifested. Usually, this turns to bitterness, and ultimately these folks find themselves living in a constant state of negativity.

Here’s the lesson, boys and girls: things don’t just happen – we have to make them happen.

Our actions, thoughts, words, and even the way in which we present ourselves to the world determine just what will – and what won’t – happen.

In other words, we must dress the part and assume the role of a successful, happy individual in order to achieve or receive anything good. Sometimes this takes a little acting on our parts: we won’t always wake up in a good mood and rejoice in our tedious jobs, cluttered homes, insolent children, or detached spouses. However, we do have the power to readjust our mindset: yes, I have a viable source of income, a roof over my head, and am blessed with family. If we feel gratitude for what we do have, rather than a longing for what we don’t, that job won’t seem so bad, the kids won’t grate on your nerves so much, and that spouse…well, you may find he’s not so bad after all.

We must also discover elements of bigness in the little things. Rather than proclaiming, Oh, I can’t wait for (whatever it is one waits for) to happen!, we must relish small pleasures and each little blessing throughout the day: a quiet cup of coffee, a stroll through the neighborhood, an opportunity to merely chat with a friend.

We are magnets. Everything occurring right now is a result of our attitude and actions.

Those guys from Hee Haw sang that song every week for twenty years. Nothing changed. They didn’t relish in the fact that pretty girls surrounded them, ‘shine flowed like water, and Buck Owens was a resident of Cornfield County for a very long time – that’s good stuff, my friends!

The power for change lies within us, if we only focus on the positive and possess a clear vision for what we truly want out of life.

There is no big bang, but there are an awful lot of little bangs that go unnoticed.

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

Holidays and Happy Days

I suppose I was about four years old. Christmas loomed large; our small home sparkled with multi-colored lights, my mother spent hours whipping up all sorts of holiday treats, and I learned a great lesson about the true meaning of the season. I didn’t learn it from my family or in Sunday school. I learned it from the coolest cat around in the mid-1970’s: The Fonz.

In the early episodes of Happy Days, Arthur Fonzarelli had yet to ingratiate himself into the Cunningham household. He was merely a hoodlum mechanic who spent a little time with Ritchie and the gang. One Christmas, though, he found himself alone. He gave the guys some story about visiting relatives in another town. Everyone bought it except Ritchie and me. I knew Fonzie was to be alone, and it made me sad…very, very sad. I remember fighting back tears, my young heart aching for Mr. C to invite the Fonz to their home for Christmas.

Finally, Mr. C and Ritchie went to Fonzie’s place and confronted him (this was before the Fonz moved into the Cunningham’s garage apartment). They tried every trick to get Fonzie to join them. “We’ve got a great big tree!” Ritchie proclaimed. “I got a tree,” Fonzie replied. The camera cuts to a small, sad-looking table-top tree. I cut to the bathroom, where I had a good cry.

I finally got control of myself and was able to catch the last five minutes or so of the episode – a happy ending, of course. The Fonz spent Christmas with the Cunningham family, and I realized that Christmas wasn’t all about the glitzy lights, the presents, and Santa Claus. It was about reaching out to those who needed it, and offering the best present of all – our time. The best part about it, of course, is that it need not only apply during the holidays.

Happy days, indeed, are the result.

Beth Newman
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!