Monday, April 29, 2013

April's Nutshell

Okay, okay, okay – I know!  I’ve been incredibly lax in musing elegantly on a consistent basis, but I promise, Sweeties, that I will get back on track.

As we bid April a fond farewell, I think it wise to review this past month to see just how elegant we’ve truly been.  I confess I’ve fallen short, so no need to beat yourselves up if you, too, haven’t behaved as elegantly as you should.  We’re only human after all, and in a world where elegance is hard to come by, it’s no wonder we slip from time to time.  So, here I go with my true confessions:

*As much as I enjoy writing, putting my words into songs is far more difficult than I imagined.  I’m going for Dolly Parton, but keep ending up with Weird Al Yankovic. I feel, however, that  A Busload Full of Angry Spaniards is destined to be a hit.  How do I know?  Because I lived it, and everyone knows that only authentic, heartfelt, sincere music gets attention (that’s sarcasm, for those of you who don’t know me well).

*I must practice patience with people who still have no idea what it is I do for a living.  I teach.  I wardrobe.  I write.  I fabulosticize.  I make up new words in order to suit my needs.  I do no sell products, nor have any desire to.  I do not preach sermons, though I’ve been accused of coming off a bit preachy from time to time, particularly in my writing efforts.  I am not a nutritionist, but I’m comfortable with what little I know about the subject to inform you that ten sodas a day is not a good idea.  I am not a counselor, a fashion designer, a seamstress, or a gynecologist.  Honestly, you’d be amazed by some of the inquiries I receive.

*A pumpkin patch may not have been the best idea for my small patio.

*I never thought I’d have to impersonate someone else in order to make a very important ‘cake deal’ go down, but I did.  If you happen to spot me inside a bakery, please refer to me as ‘Bonnie’.

*Passive-aggressiveness while climbing ladders might backfire, resulting in a mild back injury.  Simply ignore the one who’s commenting under her breath that you’re getting preferential treatment from her crush.  By the way, the crush is involved with Steve.  I can’t believe she doesn’t know that.  It’s not like he’s trying to hide it or anything.

*There really is no greater satisfaction for me than teaching a child, particularly one who’s struggling in a typical classroom setting.  He’s making progress.  Maybe when I grow up, I’ll go back to teaching full time.  I miss it.

So there you be with word from my little corner of the universe.  How’s it going in yours?