Keep Those Cards and Letters Coming

I’ve debated whether or not to share this nugget with you, Sweeties, but I choose to do so because a) it may help someone somehow, b) it drives home the point that tact and elegance have quickly become charming little notions of the past, and c) I find it absolutely hilarious.

It started about two months ago when a former reader of this little scribbling of mine sent a personal message in order to complain about the content.  Excerpts from our exchange are as follows:

She:  …it used to be so much more inspirational than this.  What’s going on?

Me:  There’s plenty of inspiring material out there for everyone.  I suppose as a writer I just feel compelled to go down a different road.

Later that Day

She:  But the stuff you write now is boring and not very funny.  I don’t get it.  You call yourself a writer, but shouldn’t writers have a point of view?

Me:  I suppose it helps to have a point of view, but I do it because I enjoy it.

That Night

She:  But aren’t you trying to run some sort of business?  I’m great at networking my own business, and I can assure you that what you’re doing won’t bring you any customers.

Me:  Aside from the occasional gig, I no longer have a business of my own.  I decided to go back to working for the man.  Life is easier for me that way.

The Next Morning

She:  Couldn’t hack it, huh?  I’m telling you, your blog is a big part of the problem.  I’m happy to offer my networking services to get you back on track.  I’ll even throw in a discount.

Me:  While I appreciate your offer, I must decline.  I’ve had every networking genius out there throw in his two cents, and to be honest with you, that’s part of why I no longer work for myself.

Later That Morning (boy, talk about persistence)

She:  You have a really rotten attitude.  I can’t believe I ever got hooked on your blog.  You’re a liar, too – promoting the positive attitude thing and then turning around and being really negative.

Me:  I’m sorry you feel that way

She:  It hurts my feelings that you won’t let me help you.

Me:  I’m sorry you feel that way

She:  Well, you’ve just lost yourself a reader.  Congratulations!

 

 Congratulations, indeed.

 

Goods and Services

I was hanging dill leaves over my front door this morning thinking about a recent conversation I’d had with an acquaintance -a nice, successful go-getter type of gal in my community whom I admire.  She asked why I didn’t have my picture on my business cards.  I explained that while I still dabble in a bit of consulting, I’ve landed a gig with a wonderful educational institute and the cards they provide me with are the standard fare they provide for all of their employees.  My name and contact information is on each one, but everything else comes straight from ‘the man’.

Oddly enough, she wasn’t the first person to ask me that question, so I feel the need to fully address the situation.

I began my consulting practice about five years ago with the intention of helping people learn how to dress and how to behave.  It eventually took on a ‘mentoring’ aspect, which I enjoyed.  Had it caught on completely, I might still be out there promoting it full-force.  It didn't, but no worries - the new gig keeps me blissfully busy.  I still have a handful of regular clients, so I’m just not inclined to bust my behind trying to get ‘me’ out there.  Those regular clients, by the way, came my way through word of mouth.  All the snazzy marketing materials, all the local meet and greats, the TV and magazine appearances and such amounted to nothing as far as the ‘bottom line’ was concerned.  In a perfect world, I wouldn’t have to eat and buy shoes, but as you well know, we do not live in a perfect world.

 

Anyway, back to the business card question.  In the super-early stages of my sole proprietorship, I did include my picture on marketing materials.  I then proceeded to get emails from a creepy (and married) individual who had no interest in my professional services.  I don’t consider myself a ravishing beauty, so it just goes to show that there are a lot of sad, desperate jerks out there.  Since I don’t like sad, desperate jerks, I removed my photo from said marketing materials.  He finally left me alone after the phrases ‘restraining order’, ‘your wife’, and ‘tire iron’ were thrust his way.

Promotion.  It should be a simple concept, but it’s not. 

Sure, business owners and those who provide various services must do it and do it well.  Self-promotion is an entirely different thing, and I discovered that the lines blurred for an awful lot of so-called professionals out there. 

Creepy Email Guy made me gun shy.  Combine that with the fact that I’m a pretty private person so you can therefore understand why certain types of promotion didn’t work in my favor.  In our age of technology, advertising should be easy, but it’s not.  I think we’ve got too much information at our finger-tips, and too many folks out there promoting things that may not necessarily be real. Our culture has become one big illusion in which everyone’s a celebrity (even if it is in their own minds).

 

“Look at me!  Look at me!”

No offense, but I’m tired of looking at you, quite frankly, and I’m okay with the fact that you’re probably tired of looking at me (I hope Creepy Email Guy is, anyway).  I’m incredibly happy doing what I do these days, and I’m content to limit my social media exchanges to things that amuse me that will hopefully amuse others.  Sometimes I even try to pass along information that might educate, but I no longer feel as if I have to do it every hour on the hour.

I’d much rather pursue other interests, like hanging dill above my front door.  You may wonder about such an activity, but as I mentioned earlier, I like to keep certain things private.

 

 

Loyalty

I had no intention of addressing the subject of loyalty today, but, for myriad reasons, I’m compelled to do so. Loyalty – a vitally important concept that simply isn’t put into practice enough these days.

Our society, I fear, can only be described as a disposable one. Many folks are far too concerned about ‘the next big thing’ without really taking a moment to appreciate what they already possess. It occurs in relationships and in businesses. It happens because we pretend to have some fantastic, pie-in-the-sky vision of how things should be, rather than nurturing those things that currently are. Oftentimes, ego gets in the way. Sometimes it’s due to boredom. Other times, it’s the quest for the almighty dollar. In the end, though, it simply boils down to the ‘what’s in it for me?’ mentality that is overly-acknowledged and seemingly celebrated in our culture.

Case in Point 1: A woman was recently fired from her job of 10 years due to ‘restructuring of her department’. Truth be told, a friend of the boss wanted a gig within the company, and the only way to make this happen was to squeeze this woman out. Where’s the loyalty for those years of service? Had there been an issue with the woman’s job performance, should it not have been addressed? (And her performance reviews indicated that no such issue existed, by the way.) Isn’t it the boss’s job to nurture those whom he feels may not be up for the task, rather than merely cutting that someone off so abruptly?

Case in Point 2: A young wife discovers that marriage to a man who adores her isn’t quite how she envisioned it. Following the fairy-tale wedding, reality set in. She took up with someone new, devastating her husband. She made a commitment, yet felt no obligation to fulfill it. You may call it flight-of-fancy if you’d like, but it’s purely an act of disloyalty to make a promise to someone and not see it through. It’s unfair not to express any concerns or misgivings one may have and to simply abandon ship just because one feels like it. You made a vow to your significant other, and you owe him or her the opportunity to hash out any problems before leaving.

Case in Point 3: The higher-ups at one office encouraged its employees to stick it out in spite of air-conditioning gone kaput - for several days at once. In triple digit heat, the bosses expected the staff to stay and remain productive. Working from home was simply not an option. Not only does this make poor business sense to me, but I feel it’s a right-out health risk to the employees, and certainly not a morale-booster by any stretch of the imagination. Where’s the concern for their well-being? Where’s the loyalty and commitment to insuring that these workers remain happy, thus leading them to greater productivity in the long run?

Now, don’t get me wrong. I don’t believe anyone or any business should subject themselves to misery and unproductive practices. I do feel, however, that we owe it to ourselves and to one another to at least try to work toward a positive solution. We must remain mindful of the big picture and ask ourselves the following questions: have the people we’re dealing with regularly proven themselves to be loyal and committed to our particular cause? Have we taken the time to help them when they may fall short of our expectations? Are our motives for doing what we do honest and of the highest standards? Do we practice the loyalty we seek?

Loyalty, ultimately, shall reap rewards. Perhaps not anytime soon, but that is why we must practice patience and faith. As a true believer in karma, I know all good deeds, including loyalty, result in multiplied blessings. Lack of loyalty, too, shall be recognized….but not quite so positively. Keep this in mind when you begin to experience disloyal leanings…..

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach/Author
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

If you feel lead to do so, I cordially invite you to check out the Elegant Fund. Proceeds benefit Girls, Inc., an organization that encourages girls to be strong, smart, and bold! http://www.newmanimage.info/Elegant.html