Wordly Wise

Words equal power.


In this day of instant communication, and society’s seemingly incessant need to purge itself at every turn, we forget this. In my quest these last couple of years for something more substantial, I’ve discovered that there are consequences to the words we choose. Joel Osteen refers to it as speaking a blessing – when we proclaim ‘woe is me’ or ‘my ex is a worthless sack of you-know-what’, we are ultimately putting the kibosh on good vibes intended for us.


You may not believe in God, or any sort of higher power; that’s your prerogative. You might, though, agree with me that sorry, negative language never benefits anyone. Sure, you may feel better after popping off at the distracted woman behind the counter, but odds are you’ve just ruined her day. She, in turn, will most likely let her ruined day affect someone else. It’s called the ripple effect.


Author and success coach Jack Canfield says that one of his requirements for his staff is that they must avoid negative comments and words while at the office. Mr. Canfield knows that we cannot achieve success if we’re not speaking positively and for the greater good of all involved.


There are four avenues of communication I’d like to share with you today. My intention is, at the very least, that they provide some food for thought.


Social Networking
I suppose the posts I read each day through the likes of Facebook and Twitter got me thinking about the way in which we communicate. I know far too much about people – some of whom I’ve never met. I encourage you, Gentle Reader, to carefully consider everything you post. When you speak ill of someone, it reflects poorly on YOU. I know we must vent from time to time, but the Internet is not the place to do it (unless, of course, you start your own blog like I have ;) Keep it light, breezy, entertaining, and informative. Thank you.


Sarcasm
Now, don’t get me wrong. I tend toward sarcasm on a regular basis, but it is always in jest and only with those who truly know I’m acting silly. There exists a fine art to sarcasm; one must practice it, hone it, and only use it with those who know you well.


Swearing
I’ll admit it: I swear. Not regularly. As with sarcasm, I only do it –on occasion – to get a laugh out of my loved ones. I know my audience – that’s a big one. Words acceptable to my sister may not be appropriate to use in front of my mother. Words acceptable to my mother may not be appropriate to use in front of my grandmother. Timing is everything, too – letting an expletive fly after stumping one’s toe, or following a mascara wand mishap are understandable. Peppering one’s daily language with dirty words is not. To me, those dependent on foul language in order to make a point or to tell a story, come across as uneducated and ignorant.

Oh, and don’t get me started on children who swear. It’s not cute and shouldn’t be encouraged.

Grammar
I’m a former English teacher, so humor me, please. Much of the general adult population needs to go back and review what we learned in middle school. As with swearing, grammatically incorrect conversation benefits no one. If you feel as if you need a quick review, pick up a copy of Clinton Kelly’s How to Be Freakin’ Fabulous (ironic he includes grammar lessons in a book with the word ‘freakin’ in the title, but it’s his book and he can call it whatever he likes). He’s got fun examples on proper parts of speech and correct usage. You can click the Elegant Reading tab here on my blog to order a copy.

I encourage you, Sweeties, to take care when communicating. Represent yourselves well. Insure that what you say serves as a blessing to others…and to yourselves.

PS…If you’ve enjoyed today’s little musing, I’d like to tell you about the Elegant fund I’ve established. Proceeds benefit a wonderful organization called Girls, Inc. To get the scoop, visit http://newmanimage.info/Elegant.html


Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach/Author
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

Success Strategies for a New Year

As a new year approaches, we tend to reflect on our lives and devise ways in which to make improvements. Obviously, a new year signifies a rebirth, of sorts – a time to review, revise, and perhaps reinvent. As I’m in the ‘makeover business’, I humbly offer the following food-for-thought as you make those plans for 2011:

1. Decide What You Want – We won’t find success and happiness driving aimlessly through life. We must come to terms with what it is we truly want. Years ago, I decided that full-time broadcasting wasn’t for me. I wanted to teach, and I did that in a traditional classroom setting for a number of years. I realized, however, that middle school English (as noble and rewarding as that profession is) was not where I needed to be. I wanted to instruct others on living well and abundantly. I wanted to help others find their style. I created a plan, and took steps toward bringing that plan to fruition. Scary? You bet! Sailing into unchartered territory always is. My faith and unwavering support from my husband, my family, and my friends helped guide my way.

2.Surround Yourself With Success – We won’t climb higher by hanging out in the ‘Woe is Me’ club. I encourage you to seek out others who have what you want. Hob-knob with the truly happy among us. Bask in the positive vibes of those who have your best interest at heart. Seek those who live serenely and joyfully. It’s time to divorce ourselves of those who bring us down and make us feel less- than-fabulous.

3. Act (and LOOK) the Part – One of the best keys I’ve discovered toward any sort of success I’ve had is by playing make-believe! I started to play the part of a successful person, and very soon doors opened that allowed me to achieve many of my dreams. Too often, people downplay their outer image, thus hindering their chances of reaching certain goals. Track suits, grungy jeans, and crocs do not scream success. Clinton Kelly says, ‘The way you dress tells the world how you expect to be treated.” Do remember that the next time you head out the door.

4.Find a Role Model – Whom do you admire? What traits do they possess that you wish you possessed? Find out as much as you can about that person, and adopt those habits as your own. For me, Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis comes to mind. Her sense of style, her mystique, and the way in which she gracefully overcame tragedy are only a few of the things I admire about her. Insure that your role model is someone who contributes positively to society.

5. Turn off the TV – As I child, I learned the concept of ‘Garbage in, garbage out’. Whatever we put into our heads eventually comes out through our hearts. If we absorb the bad behavior we see on ‘reality TV’, then we’ll soon discover that we’re channeling a great deal of negativity. Say ‘no’, I implore you, to dumbed-down ‘entertainment’. Set your sights on only those things that uplift you. Get out and visit with your neighbors. Go for a walk. Talk to your spouse. Call your mother. Find ways in which to make real connections to real people.

6. An Attitude of Gratitude – When we choose to focus and give thanks for the good things in our lives, more good things come our way. It’s true! God, The Source, or whatever you choose to call it, reads our signals. When we feel grateful for what we’ve got, that higher power gives us even more. Ignore the bad stuff – none of it means anything, anyway. We’re here for only a short time. Let’s be grateful for every second of it.

It is my sincerest wish for you that 2011 will be your happiest and most successful yet!

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach/Author
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

My online course, New Year, New You begins Monday, January 3. Details on my website.