Disciplinary Action (aka: My Simple Summer Journal)

Due to the nature of my vocation, summertime means downtime and I couldn't be more pleased.  I've enough to keep me busy and financially sound throughout the season without grind grind grinding at that grindstone. I've time to relax, enjoy, and partake of hobbies (henceforth known as 'disciplines' simply because it sounds fancier and more efficient).  I've also got time to think, which isn't necessarily a good thing.  In order to keep track of myself and to determine if I'm actually accomplishing anything, I've decided to set up a journal.  I gladly share it with you in the hopes that you, too, will take time to work on your disciplines, to ponder, or to simply sit and be this season.

Monday:  Spent most of the day at the sewing machine, my new favorite discipline.  My master plan for 'custom' (ie: homemade) summer wear is actually coming to fruition.  It's quite enjoyable and fulfilling.  Not so fulfilling is the constant media coverage and peanut gallery comments involving the arrival of Caitlyn Jenner.  She's here, she's happy, she will serve as an inspiration and good role model for the transgender community, and quite frankly unless our last name is Jenner or Kardashian, we've no business mulling it over at the rate in which we're doing it.  Move along, people...

Tuesday:  Custom summer wardrobe complete.  Have also officially converted all jars into simple and friendly-looking storage containers.  Nothing fancy.  I repeat - simple.  I yearn for simplicity and have made the decision to distance myself even further from the clutter of 'the virtual world' in order to co-create something a little bit more meaningful.  Something that will cause Mother Earth to smile and my husband to mock.  Ingrate.  I'm saving him a fortune on canisters and have freed up quite a bit of space in the pantry.  That should and will count for something at some point. Mark my words.

        Make your counter space a simple work of usable art.  I've entitled this Why the Hell Did I Buy Mung Beans?   No need to buy Mason jars.  Just save the ones your mayo, spaghetti sauce, etc. come in. Once you've eaten the contents, wash thoroughly.   Place goods inside jars.  Viola!

Wednesday:  A brief scan of the headlines and catch an item about an egg shortage.  Seriously considering how I can raise chickens on the patio of my humble townhouse without the homeowners association on my case when it occurs to me that thanks to heavy petitioning and emotional board meetings, the evil regime has officially been overthrown and we can all breath a bit easier.  Let our plants grow the way God intended them to grow. Maybe place a cute doo-dad atop our brick fences. I double-check the association guidelines and nowhere does it state that chickens aren't allowed.  Now we're getting somewhere.

Thursday:  The previous night's viewing of The Last Waltz'on Netflix has me musically inspired and has also provided within me a new found appreciation of The Band.  I partake in another favorite discipline, the ukulele, and am happy to report that I've almost got Evangeline and The Weight down.  Well, maybe not down, but passable.  You can probably figure out what I'm attempting to do after a few bars. 

Am determined to actually write a song.  A love song:  Your Kisses are Better than the Empanada (But Not as Good as the Rice and Beans).  I got the idea from tonight's dining experience.  See, inspiration surrounds us; we merely need to remain alert.

Friday:  I feel incredibly simple (read into that what you will).  It occurs to me just how little time I've devoted to 'the virtual world' this week.  I, like so many others, have been guilty of scrolling in order to pass the time.  It feels good to work with one's hands (not just the index finger, or the middle finger depending on what's happening in your neck of the woods).  I make a conscious decision to plug in only a couple of times a day, if that much.   Too much mind clutter is not good for the soul.  Trying to create something is, I believe, and even if we're not good at it (see ukulele playing), it never hurts to try.  Perseverance, friends.  Perseverance.

Saturday:  My fabulous sister-in-law is downsizing, and brings me a cornucopia of goodies, including this:

I've dabbled in yarn disciplines, and am delighted to give it another go.  Thanks bunches, CK!  I sort through the tub while watching a documentary about The Eagles.  While there's no denying the impact of their monstrously catchy tunes, I've come to the conclusion that Glenn Fry is a complete and utter jackass.  That's another one of my disciplines:  passing judgement on art-eests who take themselves much too seriously, and it's one I've mastered beyond measure.  I'm so put off I throw a ream of yarn at the telly, and vow to myself that if I ever meet Mr. Fry, I will throw a ream of yarn in his face.  (Note to self:  keep yarn in purse just in case).  I pour myself a glass of wine (another favorite discipline), humming along to Take it Easy.  

And take it easy, I shall, Mr. Fry and company...indeed I shall.

One of the Worst

I won't say she's the worst person I've ever met, but she definitely falls into my Top Three.

It was through my brief stint working in retail several years ago that we met.  Hired as a manager for the store, I naturally assumed she knew what she was doing.  If thievery and stirring up trouble were prerequisites for the job, it's no surprise the Powers That Be saw something special in her.

At first, I simply found her annoying:  she wouldn't stop talking.  I'm not much for chit chat, but her stories of her alleged past as a salon owner, security officer, and being the ex-wife of an NFL player she refused to name intrigued me.  I'm pretty good at spotting BS; little did I know the S would get even deeper.

Her sneaky S snuck up on us initially in the form of bullying.  A colleague with some serious personal issues was having difficulty doing her job effectively.  Rather than reach out, contact HR, cut her a little slack (you know, the things  managers are supposed to do) our subject opted to report this woman as 'completely incompetent' and drove her point home by keying the woman's car.

I S you not.

She mocked a wheel-chair bound customer behind said customer's back. She flirted with every man who entered the shop, except the gay ones.  She didn't like homosexuals, and made no secret of it.  She told a Muslim woman to 'take the curtain' off her head.   She forced junior associates to buy her sodas and never paid them back. She parked in front of a neighboring store and threatened legal action when they asked her to stop.   She was a horrible speller, and her grammar was no picnic, either. 

You can't make this S up, Gentle Reader.

Then merchandise went missing.  Small things at first - earrings, stuff like that. And the gossip!  She went out of her way to tell any and all about insults from other employees (supposedly) hurled against each of us. Needless to say, morale hit bottom.   Some of us were asked by the Powers That Be to keep an eye on her and report back any suspicious or unprofessional behavior.  That's not my style, but I did as I was told.  My only offering was a report of her spending three hours on the phone with her cable company when she should have been on the sales floor.  We were the only two employees working at the time, so she easily figure out that I was the rat.  She accused me of being a lying, racist, anti-Christan goody-two-shoes, and promised to make my life miserable. That night I went home, typed up my letter of resignation, and plotted all the different places I could park my car within a two-mile radius of the store.  I didn't resign immediately, but I kept the letter in my purse, just in case.  After all that, the worst she did was ignore me - a welcome respite from her constant chatter, to be honest.

We then began receiving surprise visits from the Head of Security for this particular store.  Big chain stores have those, you know, and they've got all this groovy equipment to not only track inventory but to track transactions as well.  I'd heard things about questionable sales and returns while under our subject's watch, but didn't think much about it until the day she broke her vow of silence against me.

"WHAT DID YOU TELL THEM THIS TIME, BETH?"  Typed in all caps because she yelled at me as the Security Head and another manager escorted her to the back room.  

They were in there for hours, and no one wanted to leave at the end of her shift. Too caught up in the drama, we made excuses to stick around.  

Finally, she emerged from the back, purse in hand, and yelling (again).  "I WILL OWN THIS COMPANY!  I'M CALLING MY LAWYER WHEN I GET HOME!  YOU ALL ARE TRYING TO CRUCIFY ME!  JUST BECAUSE I'M A WOMAN!" (that one didn't make any sense; the store was predominately female.) And with that, she left.

My shift was long over, so I went to the back to gather my things.  The Security Head asked me how to get to the nearest police department.  I told him, and he ran out the back door, violating store policy. No one was to enter or exit the back door. I'd learned my lesson about being a tattle-tale, though,  and I figured as Security Head he could come and go as he pleased.

We never heard nor saw from her again.  

I left the store a couple of months after the incident - nothing to do with her and everything to do with me not being cut out for retail.  God bless those who are.  It's a tough, thankless gig, and I admire anyone who can stick it out for longer than a few months.

Although it's been years since the incident, she still crosses my mind.  Curious, I did a little detective work recently and discovered that she had been punished accordingly for her misdeeds against the store. It's all a matter of public record.  Thank you, Internet, for showing me yet again that karma is real.

Not-So-Brilliant Conversationalists

A colleague and I recently discussed how folks these days have little to actually talk about in person due to social media.  She didn't have to tell me about her Christmas, nor did I need to share about mine.  Thanks to Facebook, we knew the holiday score and in one regard it was fine - we could get down to business fairly quickly.  On the other hand, we missed the social element that once-upon-a-time prefaced 'getting down to work'.

I took that encounter to heart, and have tried to be super-mindful of what I throw out into the cosmos via the Internet.  I never felt the need to post the minutia of each moment, and I certainly never posted anything heavy or personal.  I've always tried to keep it light in the hopes that my reported deeds and misdeeds might make someone smile.

Social media is a wonderful tool for staying in touch with far-away family and friends.  It's also a great method to 'meet' and 'interact' with like-minded souls.  Too many of us misuse it, however;   when we're more concerned with impressing the masses rather than those living within our homes, then we've got a problem.  

We live in the age of Too Much Information, and I wonder if the overload has gone so far overboard that we can no longer discern fact from fiction.  

I also wonder how much of that TMI energy we're absorbing simply by default.  Got five minutes to spare?  Check Facebook.  Then log on to Twitter.  Then visit Instagram.  That five minutes turns into a good solid hour, and then where are you?  Behind in your work; behind in your being.  I know, for I've been guilty of it far too many times.

Off course,  we should take note of the fact that social MEdia sites are rife with narcissists, sociopaths, and your basic run-of-the-mill attention whores.  These folks have no interest in real connections.  They're more concerned with reaching a certain number of 'likes'.  One connection I had went so far as to create fake profiles for a cast of characters with whom he 'interacted' - everything from fake personal assistants to fake family members, which then led to fake enlightenment and fake excitement.  His desperate attempts at presenting himself as a raconteur fell flat rather quickly. The fewer responses he got, the more outlandish his posts became.

I ended up deleting him from my online world.  I 'd never met him in person, and couldn't quite recall how we connected in the first place. 

There is no shame in living a life that's real. And undocumented.

This leads us back to the original point:  have we lost the art of conversation?  Real conversation - the equal exchange of give-and-take.  Listening more while speaking less. I once clocked someone in at 43 minutes before he even asked, 'And how are you?'   It's probably my own fault; I've never been much of a talker and I'm terribly private.  Still, it's always nice to be asked.

If, like me, you're desirous of changing your social media habits, why not give the following a try:

1.  Logging on only once or twice a day; posting even less.

2. Deleting or blocking the narcissists and Debbie Downers (I conducted a 'blocking ceremony' a couple of days ago, and it certainly felt good).

3.  Post only the positive.  If it will make someone smile, laugh, or think, you're good to go.

4.  Share links to art, music, and the written word, not the latest horror from the news.

5.  Live honestly and simply, and relay your life as such. 

6.  If it's not someone you'd want to chat with over a glass of wine, don't connect with him online.

Just like everything else in life, finesse and balance in our social media habits are important. Our real and online interactions have the power to make or break someone's day.   Utilize your networks wisely, but more importantly, utilize your time with the person standing two feet away from you wisely, too.  Ask, listen, and reciprocate - quite easy, once we put it back into practice.

That'll Show 'Em

Sitting inside Happy Honey Nail Salon the other day, I overheard strange noises coming from the waiting area.  I glanced over and caught sight of a suburban woman wearing yoga pants, a ball cap, and a tremendous amount of bling for mid-morning Monday.   She was rolling her eyes and ‘tsking’ repeatedly.

“Five more minutes,” cried the salon manager.  “You came too early.”

This was met with a tsk, a grunt, and a muttered, “I thought you might be able to get me in now.”

Then I heard sniffles from her side of the room.  Surely she’s not crying, I thought.  I mean, after all it is only a nail appointment.

She got up, stomped past me and the other customers, and entered the ladies’ room.  She came out with a roll of toilet tissue.

“Don’t you have any Kleenex?”  she snapped at no one in particular.  One of the nail techs left her customer, went to the back room quickly, came out even quicker, and handed this disgruntled patron a box of tissue.

“No,” Ms. Tsk replied, clinging to the toilet tissue as if her life depended upon it.  “I’ll just use this.  You guys must have mold in here.  My allergies are going ape!”  The nail techs began speaking to one another in their native tongue.  I made a note to myself to contact Uncle Ed to see if he picked up any language lessons during his stint in Vietnam.  Then it occurred to me that nail salon gossip was probably not something he encountered too often during combat. 

After an incredibly heavy sigh, a nose blow,  and yet another tsk, our yoga-panted friend stormed out of Happy Honey, taking the roll of toilet tissue with her.

I never thought of stealing TP in order to teach someone a lesson, but hey, if it makes you feel any better about things….

And the hits just keep on coming….

A blast from the past with whom I reconnected via a social media site has determined that ‘some things never change’ and as a result, she disconnected herself from those with whom she reconnected, including yours truly.  Evidently, she’s held a grudge since childhood – why, I don’t know, for she seemed to have it all as far as my young perspective could tell.  Long story short, a planned gathering that took weeks to figure out was not to her liking.  I had no opinion on the gathering either way, but she apparently did.  I wasn’t hurt by her disconnect, just a little baffled how I, who has very little interaction with these folks, got lumped into it all.  Her Disconnect Proclamation stated that she would again accept a social connection invitation from those of us whom she ‘dissed’, but I’ve opted to decline.  We were never that tight in the first place, and I’ve got plenty of connections keeping me entertained and up-to-date on whose child has the worst earache and ‘That’s What’s for Supper’ photos for the time being.

So I find myself musing today about how far people will go in order to ‘teach others a lesson’.  Sure, you’ve got the usual – quitting a job and blasting Johnny Paycheck’s Take This Job and Shove It while emptying your desk drawers and stealing the company’s stapler and pushpins, allowing your husband’s dirty clothes to pile up because he hasn’t complimented you in weeks, or taking a neighbor’s beat-up old bicycle to the dump because he’s had it parked on your side of the lawn for days.  (Side note:  he got the bike from the trash – I saw him, and short of parking it on my property he didn’t do a darn thing with it, so there.)  Are we really teaching a lesson here, or are we simply delving into drama in order to garner a little attention, some sympathy, or perhaps even a bit of notoriety?  Does ‘sticking it’ to someone make us feel better, really?  In my case it did, but I shouldn’t speak on someone else’s behalf.  I have issues.

Personally, I think the best way to teach a lesson is to live by example.  Through our manner of living, we can offer someone an awful lot to think about – whether good or bad.  Some of my best teachers have been truly the worst sort of people, but I’m thankful for each episode, for it made me realize what I don’t want out of life:  pettiness, selfishness, micro-managing, and weird-but-not-in-a-good-way type of stuff.

With that being said, I do understand that even the most blinged-out among us might be struggling with some sort of incomprehensible scene – we really shouldn’t judge.  I know firsthand that high school hurts can run deep, and boy, am I glad I let those go years ago. It is my sincerest wish that anyone who was bullied, mocked, or just plain ignored are able to do so as well. 

But stealing toilet tissue?  That’s just messed up.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Taking Inventory

Well, Sweeties (sigh), now that the beautiful insanity of the holiday season has finally come to an end, I thought it would be a good time to take a bit of inventory.  I’ve checked closets (which are now clean) and kitchen pantries (which are not clean).  I’ve rearranged furniture and rid my home of items that no longer serve me in order to make room for items that do (thank you, Santa!).  I’ve semi-fasted, semi-jogged, and am semi-eating organically.

I guess you could say I’m semi-ready for new beginnings.

I don’t make resolutions and I certainly don’t encourage you to do so.  Intentions are more my bag, for I find that I’m more accountable when I intend to do something rather than when I resolve to do it.   Does that make sense?  I didn’t think so….

2012 proved to be an interesting year for me.  I think I experienced some sort of an awakening.  Things that bugged me this time last year don’t seem to bug me anymore.  For example:

-I actually enjoy a bit of chaos with regard to my work schedule.  Need a dress for tonight’s party?  No problem!  Need to drop your child off for additional tutoring?  Do it! Need to reschedule your appointment?  No problem – how does Thursday work for you?   I’m not too terribly bound by a set schedule these days. 

-Sometimes taking a stand for what you feel is right can lead to one big goose egg.  I’ve learned not to expel too much energy trying to right the wrongs of others;   I’m learning to simply trust that the powers-that-be will fix things that need fixing, especially when it comes to dark forces that are beyond my power – or mental grasp.

-  My subscription to Vogue has expired, and I’ve yet to renew it.  I’ve collected the fashion bible for many years, but honestly –I just can’t wrap my head around Anna Wintour’s game anymore.  Yes, fashion is important, but I like real fashion for real people and want to save real money when styling myself and others.  I don’t need Vogue, or any other fashion mag, telling me what the trends are – I’d prefer to make my own.

-Sitting and staring off into space is cool.  I no longer set the timer while I do it (‘Oh, gosh!  Timer’s gone off. I must get started on (insert random, usually work-related activity here’).

Balance, I suppose, is what’s been lacking in my inventory.  A clean and orderly closet in which to store my beloved wardrobe is important.  An organized kitchen pantry?  Not so much.  Time to sit quietly with a cup of tea and enjoy good music – important.  Sitting at the table with a stack of fashion magazines while jotting down notes – not so much.  Going to bed early and enjoying a solid night’s sleep – important.  Hitting community do’s in order to hobnob with folks whose ideals may or may not be aligned with mine – not so much.

Sweet simplicity.

Take an inventory, and see if you’ve got it.  If so, well done!  If not, think about it….

 

Beth Newman

www.newmanimage.info

Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

 

 

Second-Hand Dullness

Very few bat an eye these days at the violent, negative, and often-times sexually explicit messages and images that inundate us daily, but you smoke one cigarette in public, and everyone goes ape.

I had to kindly explain the meaning of the word ‘acquiesce’ to an alleged-adult the other day, who in turn told me to ‘chill-ax’ with ‘all those fancy words.’

We’ll march ourselves, children in tow, into the streets in order to protest some cause that quite frankly doesn’t affect us in the long run (unless we allow it to do so), but don’t offer our kids much in the way of spiritual or moral guidance.

Is it just me, or does our society suffer from misplaced priorities?

I ask the question because it seems as if we’re dumbed-down and hyped-up on all the wrong things.    We know the names of every Kardashian (who seem to multiply like head lice), but can’t recall the names of our founding forefathers, the twelve disciples, or the Rat Pack.

We can certainly point fingers and blame public education, the media, or changing times, but it really boils down to one thing:  us.  We simply must step it up, Sweeties.  We’ve become too lax and too forgiving of behaviors that don’t serve our society well. 

But I do believe there is hope for us and for future generations, and it most likely will only take a tweak or two…

Turn of the television and pick up a book.

Get to know your neighbors as well as you know the Kardashians.

Stop looking for the ‘big bang’ and realize the ‘big bang’ occurs during those simple times.

Listen more, talk less.

Express yourself through your words and deeds, and not with body art and unflattering clothes.

Go outside and sit quietly for a few minutes each day.

Love and accept others no matter their ethnicity, culture, religion, sexual orientation, or political leanings.

Help a creature in need.

Living fully, correctly, and enjoyably doesn’t have to be difficult.  It’s all about taking ‘pride in ownership’ when it comes to our lives.  It’s about keeping ourselves positively productive.  It’s about surrounding ourselves with uplifting and entertaining individuals – even those who may live differently than you.  (Side note:  tolerance and acceptance are big in my book, and I’m blessed with many friends from many walks of life.  Try it, you may just like it!)

If you found today’s musing a bit harsh, that’s okay.  You may, in fact, be fed up with my oh-so-elegant rants, and that’s fine, too.  Go forth in peace and stay ‘chill-axed’.  I’ll be in the corner with a few like-minded souls who take pleasure in the little things and can communicate at-or-above a seventh grade level.

And I won’t even mind if they’re smoking while doing so.

Beth Newman

Newman Image

www.newmanimage.info

Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

Mean Women

We hear so much these days about the Mean Girl Epidemic spreading throughout our middle and high schools.  I even hear stories of it occurring in elementary schools.  It’s bad, for sure, and takes an awful lot of diligence on the part of adults to keep it at bay.  We encourage our girls to do the right thing and to live by a strong moral code.  What happens, though, when the Mean Girls turn out to be adult women?  We don’t hear too much about it, but I can assure you that it’s alive and well within our society.

Growing up, yours truly was the target of some Mean Girl (and Mean Boy, for that matter) behavior.  Socially awkward and painfully shy, I was an easy target, I suppose.  It took years for me to come to terms with that cruelty, but come to terms I did, and it’s made me the woman I am today. I’m not sharing this with you to conjure up any sympathy, but to prove a point:  we can all overcome it.   I’ve built my life’s work around it, in fact:  I don’t want any little girl to endure what I endured.  I want every little girl to know she’s special, she’s competent, and that she matters.  I want to provide her with tools for ignoring the Mean Girls, tools she may very well need when encountering any Mean Women in her future.

Because I’d already ‘been there, done that’ with regard to the Mean Girls, I confess I took very little notice of it occurring amongst alleged-grown-ups. I guess at one point I was downright naïve to its very existence.   I’m aware of it now, and have come to following conclusions:

Mean Women Operate Out of Fear –Disrespect and ugliness towards others stems from a fear of not being accepted ourselves.   We channel this fear into the very thing we don’t want:  to be forgotten, or to be seen as ‘less-than’.  We fear it happening to us, so we’ll beat it to the punch by inflicting it on someone else.  How sad…

Mean Women Operate Out of Self-Loathing – I challenge anyone to find a Mean Girl or Mean Woman who truly likes herself.  Without self-love, there is no love.  It all starts from within. Plain and simple.

Mean Women Operate Out of Immaturity – Perhaps they weren’t indulged or encouraged enough as children.  Perhaps they were overly-indulged or overly-encouraged as children.  Who knows?  But something happened along the way to keep these women from growing up and contributing positively to society. 

Mean Women Operate Out of Jealousy – Strong women, beautiful women, happy women, and successful women are often targeted by Mean Women.  Instead of celebrating these women, they go to great lengths to tear them down.  They exclude.  They gossip.  They lie.  These are the things that get a Mean Girl into trouble at school.  Unfortunately, you can’t send a Mean Woman to the principal’s office.

I could go on, but I’d like to move along to another topic, one that I’ve written about many times:  living by example.  We cannot expect our daughters, nieces, or students to be nice girls if we’re not living nicely ourselves.  The old cliché of the apple not falling far from the tree is true, I believe.  We must take a good, hard look at ourselves and our motives, for they greatly affect our children.  If we want our future generation to live in a society of love, kindness, compassion and respect, we must put those concepts into practice – always.

I personally know a few Mean Women – women who are mothers, teachers, and leaders in my community.  I implore anyone remotely responsible for the well-being and guidance of children, particularly girls, to think and live on a higher level.  Get over what you need to get over and start playing nicely.  Come from a place of compassion and integrity – this will serve you well.

And for anyone who’s ever suffered at the hands of a Mean Girl or Mean Woman, take heart:  set your sights on fabulosity and you’ll do just fine.  It’s easy to ignore their comments when you know you’re doing the right thing.  Surround yourself with decent, positive people who have the greater good in mind.  Strive for excellence in all that you do.  Find inspiration wherever you can get it.  They say that living well is the best revenge.  Based on my own experiences, I know this to be true.

Beth Newman

Image Consultant, Mentor, Author

www.newmanimage.info

Beth’s books, Become a First Style Fashionista and 365 Days of Fabulosity, are available through Amazon.

Tuning and Tapping

I know firsthand what occurs when one defines himself or herself with a title:

“I am a teacher.”

“I am a writer.”

“I am a salesman.”

“I am a doctor.”

“I am a professional monkey-trainer.”

(Side note: I can only claim the first two, but am quite interested in conquering the last one.)

Anyway, we get too caught up in titles because oftentimes we define ourselves by those titles. We forget that there’s so much more to us than by how we make a living.

That’s why I encourage you to tap into and tune into Other Areas of Interest, which may include but are not limited to: volunteer work, pursuing a hobby, learning a new language or skill, traveling, and such. ‘Tapping and Tuning’ allows us to grow as humans. It allows us to discover new things about ourselves and the world around us. I think, too, that it makes us happier, more creative individuals.

Stretching ourselves is vital to our well-being. We must never accept complacency or mediocrity. We must remain vigilant in our desire to expand our horizons.

Our day-in-day-out routine can make us weary. We could end up in a rut. We may simply begin accepting things because ‘that’s how they’ve always been’. Yet they don’t have to be. Yes, we have responsibilities and obligations, but that doesn’t mean we must limit ourselves.

When you were a child, I’m sure you had some big dreams. Revisit those dreams, and see if you can find a way to tap into them in some way. Perhaps you wanted to be a singer, so why not join a community chorale group or your church choir? Maybe photography was your thing. Grab a camera and get to it!

As a kid, I grew up watching – and loving- the CBS soap opera, Guiding Light. I recently starting writing fan fiction based on the show. Yes, I know it’s incredibly silly. I realize very few people will take the time to read it, but it’s something I enjoy doing. It’s something that’s completely different for me. I find it a fantastic little diversion that keeps me from getting bored.

I encourage you to spend a little time today ‘Tapping and Tuning’. Step into an unfamiliar area and see what happens. If one thing doesn’t get you going, then choose another. Recall those ideas that excited you as a child. We were never meant to live merely by titles. We were meant to enjoy ever-evolving and fun lives!

Now, if I could figure out how to incorporate monkey-training and writing soap opera fan fiction, I’d have it made in the shade with pink lemonade.

Beth Newman is an image consultant, mentor, and author based out of Houston, TX. For more information about her, she invites you to visit her website at www.newmanimage.info.

July's Nutshell

Here I sit, a few days into the month of August, and I’m still reeling from some events that transpired during the month of July. As you know, I like to muse elegantly at the end of each month about lessons I’ve learned, truths I’ve discovered, new amusements, and anything else that’s caught my fancy within the last four weeks. So here goes nothing (or something, depending on your point of view):

Skyrockets in Flight – We live in a great nation, in spite of all the political drama that plagues our headlines. When we come together in a spirit of celebration, I realize that, essentially, we are all the same. We’re all connected. We live in a place where we can choose to be and do anything we wish. However, when we choose to be a line-cutter in order to score the last of the Kettle Corn, we will receive dirty looks. Prepare yourself for the fall-out should you go this route.

Waves of Clarity – For me, sitting and staring at a large body of water is necessary for my peace of mind. I’ve come to greatly depend on the Gulf of Mexico for answers (and she’s yet to let me down). When we turn off, we tune in, and it’s that inner guidance that will ultimately put us on the right path. I’m really excited about changes on the horizon.

Summer Reruns– History continues to repeat itself. No matter how much I’ve desired certain outcomes, I’ve wised up to the fact that some people simply won’t change. How sad…

We All Scream for Ice Cream – When you enjoy lunch at a favorite restaurant with a gorgeous, vivacious and incredibly sweet young woman, the management rewards you with free ice cream. Henceforth, I shall only dine out with attractive, fabulous people.

Beware of False Prophets - Enlightened, great individuals don’t have to tell others just how enlightened and great they are. They simply need to live it.

Nerd Alert – I will stop what I’m doing and forgo a night on the town just to watch a Star Wars marathon.

That is all.

Beth Newman
Image consultant, life coach, author
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

May's Nutshell

Hello, Sweeties! I’m just sitting here, sipping my third cup of coffee, and reflecting on the life lessons brought to me by the month of May:

Spend Time With Old People – they won’t always be around, and no matter how much you think you know, you can still learn something from them.

Get Over It, Beth Newman – As much as I try to let go, I still find myself quite disheartened by the downfall of what was once a very special place to me. Apathy has virtually destroyed something for which I worked extremely hard. I take comfort, however, that I’ve made life-long, positive connections with those who were with me during this entity’s heyday, and I recall proudly that, once upon a time, this entity was a very special place.


Revelations – Should you feel compelled to show pictures of your lovely wife to a virtual stranger, do insure that nude photos of yourself are not included in the mix. Count yourself lucky, too, that the woman with whom you shared those photos doesn’t name names in a certain little elegant blog she writes.

Awkward discoveries – you may learn that someone from your present life has a negative connection to someone from your past. It’s best to come clean about how you fit into this picture (no matter how insignificantly), and insure both parties that you don’t have a dog in their fight. (Note to self: get this done ASAP)

Here and Now – you are where you are right now for a reason. The people in your life right now are here for a reason. Always show yourself to be classy, comforting, and supportive. You may, in fact, change their lives by doing so.

Bi-Lingual – When one uses Google translator to insure that her cleaning lady completely understands requests, one must prepare herself for the fact that the cleaning lady will, in turn, leave detailed notes – in Spanish, for her. Time to order Rosetta Stone, I think.

Hollywood Tragedy – I was quite saddened to learn about the death of actor Jeff Conaway, who portrayed Kenickie in the iconic film, Grease (just like every girl who grew up in the 70s ad 80s, I’ve seen Grease dozens of times). His struggles with addiction were, of course, noted in the tabloids, and I rooted for his recovery (as I do with anyone who deals with any sort of struggle, whether publicly or privately). I hope he’s found peace, and I shall always recall fondly these wise words: A hickey from Kenickie is like a Hallmark card…..

And that concludes my month. Cheers, Sweeties!

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach/Author
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

ps...If you've enjoyed this little musing, I invite you to contribute to the Elegant Fund. Proceeds benefit Girls, Inc., an organization that inspires girls to be strong, smart, and bold. Details at http://www.newmanimage.info/Elegant.html.

Garbage In, Garbage Out

You may recall several years ago when Oprah Winfrey stopped airing shows that dealt with the usual day-time talk show fare. Oprah’s smart. She realized the old concept of Garbage In, Garbage Out – what we put into a heads and hearts will surely manifest itself into our daily existence.

A few years back, I found myself in a dark place. I knew I needed to make changes, but I’d built a wall around me so thick that it took a serious Come to Jesus Moment for me to realize just how far I'd gone. Ready for peace, I began taking desperate measures to restore my well-being: I turned off the TV (e-gad!). I stopped reading dumb chick books. I tuned out a lot of music. Best decision I’ve ever made, my friends.

I don’t think we realize how much junk enters our subconscious minds on a daily basis. When we fill our minds with garbage (our own or someone else’s), it truly does play a role in how we feel each day. You can’t feel fabulous in a garbage bin.

In order to establish real relationships (and that includes the one we have with ourselves) we simply have to turn off the noise and start filling our minds with ideas and concepts that will positively serve us. We have to reach out to others in kindness; our goal must be to uplift and enlighten others. What goes around comes around…and that includes everything we say, do, and post on social networking sites. Keep that in mind the next time you feel like going off on a rant…you may feel better, temporarily, but you’ve heaped a huge amount of garbage on someone else (or, at the very least, you’ve forced them to block you from their newsfeed).

Because we live in such a negative society, unfortunately, it’s hard to find sources that nurture us rather than torture us. So I’ve taken the liberty of scouting out a few sites that I hope will provide you with excellent ways in which to occupy your time:

http://www.jackcanfield.com/articles.html
http://www.enlightennext.org/magazine/current/
http://www.contacttalkradio.com/hosts/carimurphy.html
http://www.drwaynedyer.com/daily-inspiration
http://www.joelosteen.com/Broadcast/VideoStreaming/Pages/VideoStreaming.aspx

I also encourage you to remain vigilant about with whom you spend your time. If you don’t feel good around them, get away from them. It really is that simple.

Garbage In Garbage Out – remember that, my friends, and insure you do your absolute best to shield yourself from the junk.

Beth Newman
Image Consultant, Life Coach, Author
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!
Online consultations available!

The Sidewalk

A true tragedy occurred in my little corner of the world recently. Without going into too much detail, a troubled young man is no longer with us. I saw this young man frequently, we chatted occasionally, and that was the extent of our relationship. I witnessed authorities remove his lifeless body from his parents’ home, and it’s had me thinking an awful lot about life…how we spend it, with whom we spend it, and how much of it is caught up in idleness and unproductive behaviors.

It’s caused me to review how I while away my hours. I know I tend to spin my wheels and focus on business far too much. I’ll burn myself out on it completely– physically, emotionally, and spiritually -if I’m not careful. I need a hobby…a daily diversion…a little outlet, if you will, in order to wind down from the day-to-day.

That, of course, leads me to the whole ‘life balance’ issue: have I been diligent in forming true bonds with people? Do I follow-up as well as I could with family and friends? Truth be told, I’m terribly shy and guarded, and I often go on the assumption that my family and friends know how much I care about them. That old cliché of action speaking louder than words exists for a reason….

I suppose this young man’s death opened my eyes a little bit, and it certainly has forced me to take stock in my own life. I need to reach out a bit more. I need to slow down. I need to become more aware that someone who shares a sidewalk with me might be in the market for a bigger smile as we head to our cars each morning, or a little more conversation at the mailbox each evening.

Because, really, when it gets down to it, life is about making those true connections. We should never leave anyone wondering how we feel about them. We should never get so caught up in ourselves that we miss out on true, meaningful, life experiences. Simple concepts, really, but ones we don’t adhere to as often as we should. I intend to change that about myself; how about you?

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach/Author
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!
www.newmanimage.info

January's Nutshell

We’ve officially survived the first month of a new year, Sweeties. 2011 shall rock for us all-if we allow it to do so. It’s important, I believe, to reflect upon our victories and the general day-to-day in order to gauge just how far we’re coming along in the game of life. I’ve been doing just that, and have drawn the following conclusions:

-I really, truly don’t mind getting older. I’m comfortable in my own skin (maybe too much so, at times) and no longer feel as if I have something to prove. Terribly driven in my twenties and thirties, I now realize that my thought patterns far outweigh any actions I could take. Fabulosity is a mindset, and spinning ones wheels won’t get us to our desired destination.

-With age comes a few new ‘adventures’ (my doctor warned me about these), and I’m actually glad to have experienced what I can only assume was my first official hot flash, which occurred on the coldest night of the year. Talk about convenient! Note to husbands whose wives are dealing with the same thing: it’s sweet of you to offer us Advil, but Advil won’t cut it during these particular episodes.

-Going on television is really cool – don’t listen to those who say it’s not (unless, of course, they’ve been featured on some sort of America’s Most Wanted – type show; I can totally understand why they’re not too keen on going before a camera).

-And speaking of cool – reuniting with the grown-up versions of the kids I once taught truly does a heart good. ‘Newman’s Own’ have made me awfully proud!

-Simple Times: Crafts for Poor People, by Amy Sedaris, is a parody of craft books. Those who assumed they’d learn the fine art of macramé or whatever they’re into should have done their homework before buying the book (and sending it, unseen, to their grandmother for Christmas). Sedaris is dark, a bit twisted, but incredibly talented and funny. Her brand of comedy is not for everyone, so if you’re easily offended, take a pass on this one. Silently. Those of us who dig her will appreciate it.

-While on the subject of books, I encourage anyone seeking an elegant role model to read Joanna Lumley, the biography written by Tim Ewbank. Most of us know Ms. Lumley for her delicious portrayal of Patsy Stone on Absolutely Fabulous. A model in swinging sixties London, she rose above many of her peers. Her story is one of hard work, philanthropy, and sheer elegance. Those interviewed for the book describe her as kind, professional, funny, and as someone who goes out of her way to make others feel fantastic. These are traits we should all strive for.

-If you have a connection to the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo, please let me know the best way I can get my hands on discounted Keith Urban tickets.

And that’s my January, in a nutshell.

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach/Author
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!
Online consultations available

The Foundation of Fabulosity

Well, Sweeties, we’re one week into the New Year. Many of us still buzz about, excited about the wondrous possibilities that 2011 will bring; others of us have already thrown in the towel regarding our recently-set goals (or resolutions, as some call them). I encourage you to take some time, if you’ve not already done so, to really think about the foundation you’re building with regard to success this year. Every thought we think, every action we perform, every word that we utter takes us one step further toward reaching our goals….or not. That’s why we must remain vigilant, keeping our ‘eye on the prize’, so to speak, in order to accomplish anything worthy this year. And me being me, I’ve got a few little elegant ideas to help you kick-start your journey as you build your fabulosity foundation:

1. Decide What You Really Want – None of us will reach a destination if we’ve no idea where we’re going. I encourage you to rise above the status quo and set some lofty goals for yourself. Make them specific (change I want to lose a little weight this year to I want to lose 15 lbs by April 1. Change I want to get more rest to I refuse to work on Sundays this year and will commit myself to getting at least 8 hours of sleep every night). Specificity, my friends, is the key to achieving any sort of success for ourselves.

2. Buy a Full-Length Mirror – There’s no way we can ooze confidence and success if we look like a train wreck. Your outer image does matter in all that you do (stop laughing – it’s true!). If you look like a happy and successful individual, people will assume that you are, and will be drawn to you, thus opening new doors that will lead to new opportunities for you. With that in mind, please know that, in my humble opinion, successful people do not wear any of the following: track suits (other than to the gym), crocs, too-tight or too-revealing anything, or an oversized anything. The first thing people notice is, of course, how we look – keep that in mind the next time you’re tempted to wear pajama bottoms to Starbuck’s.

3. Schedule Down-Time – A period of rest is vital to our overall well-being. So is a period of play. Don’t let work, chores, or half-hearted obligations overrun your schedule. You are in charge of your life, so make it work for you!

4. Turn off the TV – I’ve said it before, and I stand by it: the media has inundated our society with too much news, too much garbage in the guise of entertainment, and too many negative messages. Fill your mind – and your soul- by choosing only to view, read, and listen to those things which are positive, uplifting, and enjoyable. All of it makes its way into our subconscious.

5. Remember the Ripple Effect – Smile at the girl behind the counter. Take a moment to sincerely thank your waiter. Generously tip the man who washes your car. You’ll find that these little niceties go an awfully long way. The recipient of your kindness will, in turn, pay that kindness forward simply because you’ve made his day.

Darlings, it’s the little things that matter. We must consciously choose to be a little more fabulous than the day we were before. Look at yourself in the mirror each day and say, “I am fabulous”. Hit your knees each night and thank your lucky stars for every blessing, no matter how big or small, that befell you that day. You’ll eventually find that you’ve built yourself quite a sturdy foundation of fabulosity.

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach/Author
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!
online consultations available!

Success Strategies for a New Year

As a new year approaches, we tend to reflect on our lives and devise ways in which to make improvements. Obviously, a new year signifies a rebirth, of sorts – a time to review, revise, and perhaps reinvent. As I’m in the ‘makeover business’, I humbly offer the following food-for-thought as you make those plans for 2011:

1. Decide What You Want – We won’t find success and happiness driving aimlessly through life. We must come to terms with what it is we truly want. Years ago, I decided that full-time broadcasting wasn’t for me. I wanted to teach, and I did that in a traditional classroom setting for a number of years. I realized, however, that middle school English (as noble and rewarding as that profession is) was not where I needed to be. I wanted to instruct others on living well and abundantly. I wanted to help others find their style. I created a plan, and took steps toward bringing that plan to fruition. Scary? You bet! Sailing into unchartered territory always is. My faith and unwavering support from my husband, my family, and my friends helped guide my way.

2.Surround Yourself With Success – We won’t climb higher by hanging out in the ‘Woe is Me’ club. I encourage you to seek out others who have what you want. Hob-knob with the truly happy among us. Bask in the positive vibes of those who have your best interest at heart. Seek those who live serenely and joyfully. It’s time to divorce ourselves of those who bring us down and make us feel less- than-fabulous.

3. Act (and LOOK) the Part – One of the best keys I’ve discovered toward any sort of success I’ve had is by playing make-believe! I started to play the part of a successful person, and very soon doors opened that allowed me to achieve many of my dreams. Too often, people downplay their outer image, thus hindering their chances of reaching certain goals. Track suits, grungy jeans, and crocs do not scream success. Clinton Kelly says, ‘The way you dress tells the world how you expect to be treated.” Do remember that the next time you head out the door.

4.Find a Role Model – Whom do you admire? What traits do they possess that you wish you possessed? Find out as much as you can about that person, and adopt those habits as your own. For me, Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis comes to mind. Her sense of style, her mystique, and the way in which she gracefully overcame tragedy are only a few of the things I admire about her. Insure that your role model is someone who contributes positively to society.

5. Turn off the TV – As I child, I learned the concept of ‘Garbage in, garbage out’. Whatever we put into our heads eventually comes out through our hearts. If we absorb the bad behavior we see on ‘reality TV’, then we’ll soon discover that we’re channeling a great deal of negativity. Say ‘no’, I implore you, to dumbed-down ‘entertainment’. Set your sights on only those things that uplift you. Get out and visit with your neighbors. Go for a walk. Talk to your spouse. Call your mother. Find ways in which to make real connections to real people.

6. An Attitude of Gratitude – When we choose to focus and give thanks for the good things in our lives, more good things come our way. It’s true! God, The Source, or whatever you choose to call it, reads our signals. When we feel grateful for what we’ve got, that higher power gives us even more. Ignore the bad stuff – none of it means anything, anyway. We’re here for only a short time. Let’s be grateful for every second of it.

It is my sincerest wish for you that 2011 will be your happiest and most successful yet!

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach/Author
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

My online course, New Year, New You begins Monday, January 3. Details on my website.

The Old Razzle Dazzle

Give 'em the old razzle dazzle
Razzle Dazzle 'em
Give 'em an act with lots of flash in it
And the reaction will be passionate
(‘Razzle Dazzle’ from the musical, ‘Chicago’)

Razzle dazzle. I often associate it with sequins, boas, glitter, and perhaps a disco ball thrown in for good measure. I love razzle dazzle, but I don’t necessarily think it needs to be limited to tangible bright-and-shiny objects.

Razzle dazzle is an attitude and some people emit it so beautifully that it can actually bring me to tears. These are the fabulous people…the people we desperately want to come to our parties…the people whom we’re convinced are far more interesting, intelligent, and glamorous than the rest of us.

Take heart, Sweeties – everyone possesses the power to razzle dazzle.

Everything we say, do, feel, and yes, wear can increase our razzle dazzle quotient considerably. The razzle-dazzler will not show up anywhere in public wearing just any old something-something. She’ll look far more interesting than her beautifully-garbed friends: an antique broach, an old derby hat, riding boots….sure beats the uniform look of mass shoppers everywhere.

The razzle-dazzler lives up to his name because he can tell a deliciously gripping story. Getting shot at while working undercover for the government – that’s razzle dazzle. A gruesomely-detailed account of a bunionectomy – not so much. An online status update that he’s just shared a fabulous dinner with Liza Minnelli – that’s razzle dazzle. An online status update that he just downed a burrito from the corner 7-11 – not so much.

A razzle-dazzler emits light. She walks into a room and owns it. She’s relatively quiet, though, preferring to observe what is most likely a group of well-meaning-yet-trying-too-hard-individuals. The razzle-dazzler doesn’t have to try at all. People are naturally drawn to her. She’s mysteriously fascinating. She appears genuinely interested in what others have to say. She keeps her voice low, and her sly sense of humor makes those over-the-top-bawdy girls seem rather sad.

The razzle-dazzler does not seek entertainment from a satellite-empowered box; he gets his kicks by simply living. His artistic, literary, and musical tastes are quite varied, and he’d never bore you to tears with political talk or tell you to get right with the Lord.

So you see, razzle dazzle truly is within our grasp. We simply need to make an effort toward it. Wouldn’t the world be a far more interesting and enlightening place if we did?

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!
Online consultations available
My book, 'Become a First Style Fashionista' will be available in August through Amazon.