Our wardrobe selection reveals a tremendous amount about who we really are. Stop snickering…it’s true! When working with clients, I hear tons of excuses for not making an effort, fashion-wise. I also receive loads of reasons why one makes too much of an effort. I suppose that’s how I stumbled into mentoring as well: clothing merely scratches the surface of what’s going on inside. Below are a few excuses – and remedies; see if any may ring a bell:
Mommy Dearest
You say, “My children always come first.” I say, “That’s fantastic, but do you feel as if you’ve lost your identity in the process?” You say, “I spend most of my money on my children.” I say, “Again, that’s fantastic, but are you afraid that you’ll appear selfish if you spend a little on yourself?”
Motherhood is the greatest job on earth – no doubt about it! I find, however, that too many moms get caught up in that role and loose themselves. Then, when the kids have flown the nest, moms struggle to find themselves again.
I encourage moms everywhere to take that little extra time to look chic (and yes, you can find chic looks that are durable, stain-resistant, and easy to maneuver in). Nothing sends a more powerful message to children (particularly daughters) than a mom who takes pride in her appearance.
Advice for Moms
Your eight-year-old cannot drive to the supermarket, but he can certainly make himself a sandwich and clean his room. Tap into resources and stop trying to do it all yourself!
Go out with your girlfriends at least once a month, and don’t talk about your children. This is your time to be you!
Make time to be alone with your husband. Schedule a date night, or put the kids to bed early and enjoy a cozy evening at home.
Working Girl
You say, “Black works with everything.” I say, “You fear standing out at the office.” You say, “I have to maintain the corporate image.” I say, “Do you prefer it to your self-image?”
Our jobs play a huge role in our lives, at times infiltrating the very essence of who we are. Word to the wise: dress in a dull way, and rumors will fly that you’re a dull person. Yes, you must maintain a professional image at work, but professional doesn’t mean dull-as-dishwater.
Advice for the Working Girl
Pants are practical. Why not indulge in a skirt, or even a dress, for the office?
Find tailoring to suit your body shape.
Take a break during work. Leave the office during lunch hour, and do your best to leave work at work!
Natural Woman
You say, “I’ve got more important things to think about than my clothes.” I say, “You might fear you won’t be taken seriously if you dress up.” You say, “I’m not materialistic.” I say, “You’re unsure how to keep up with the times.”
You could possibly pass yourself off as an interesting intellectual. Hair driers and mascara are sheer frivolity as far as you’re concerned. You’re all about the mind and spirit, but appear as if you’re stuck in a time-warp.
Advice for the Natural Woman
Invest in a decent and flattering haircut. If you’re sporting the style you sported at Woodstock, you’re long overdue for a visit to the hairdresser.
Look to nature and find colors that will suit your complexion.
It doesn’t take long at all to apply a tinted moisturizer and a bit of lip stain.
Material Girl
You say, “It’s important to be somebody.” I say, “Do you feel like a nobody inside?” You say, “I’m surprised by how many things in my closet I’ve not yet worn.” I say, “Are you buying things to fill some sort of void?”
You spend a fortune on the latest trends, and the labels displayed proudly across your chest, butt, and on your handbag prove it! With all those names strapped to your body, however, you look like a billboard announcing you have money, but don’t know how to spend it in a classy way.
Advice for the Material Girl
Get out of the boutiques and into the community. Volunteering takes away any gnawing feelings of emptiness.
Do something fun and messy! Go for a run in the park, or spend the day lolling about in the sand. A little dirt will do you good.
Learn to love what you have by keeping a gratitude journal. This is a sure-fire way to make those desperate Prada purchases not so desperate anymore.
In order to become truly fabulous on the outside, we must come to terms with who we really are and what we want out of life. Coming soon, we’ll discuss Loud and Proud, Moms and Daughters, Married to It, and For the Boys.
Enjoy a stylish week, dear friends!
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