Wednesday, November 11, 2009

What You Say (Part 2)

We continue our look at words and wardrobes:

Loud and Proud
You say, “I’m scared of boring.” I say, “Do you fear that others may think you boring?” You say, “I love bright colors and outrageous accessories.” I say, “Do you fear growing up?”

Consider this: the looks you get from the general public are not ones of admiration. Clashing colors and misshapen garments do you no favors, my dear, for we don’t really see you at all. We’re too focused on your outlandish wardrobe to really get a sense of the authentic you.

A death-defying dress sense won’t make you a more interesting person. Do you truly possess the confidence of someone who doesn’t give two hoots what others think of her, or are you a little shy and vulnerable, and use your fashion senselessness to hide who you are?

Your current state of dress misrepresents you. Don’t you think the time is right for us to meet the real you?

Advice for the Loud and Proud
Go bold with one accessory and keep everything else, including your outfit, on the conservative side.

If color is your passion, spend a little time each day drawing, painting, or collecting something that catches your eye. You’ll create a vibrant journal of your life!

Something tells me your wardrobe is not the only chaos that surrounds you. Rid your home of clutter, and get yourself organized. Hire someone to help you if you must – just do it!

Take a little time to simply people-watch. It’s far more entertaining than anything on television. You’ll learn better how to read people and pick up on the subtleties of human nature.

Moms and Daughters
You say, “I look as good in my daughter’s clothes as she does!” I say, “Are you trying to reassure yourself that you’re still young and slim?” You say, “These funky jeans are the latest and greatest!” I say, “You seem desperate to hang on to your youth.”

Midlife could certainly be a tough time for women, particularly those with teenage daughters who are now getting the attention the moms once did; however, there comes a time when we must grow up, move on, and accept that we are no longer the spring chicken of the coop.

Aging should bring about a sense of empowerment. This can be an incredibly positive time for us, and a sexy one to boot. Just ask Demi Moore!

Advice for Moms with Daughters
You can feel youthful through the power of clothing. Find fun, age-appropriate accessories to rev up an outfit. It also sets a great style example for your daughter.

Create a to-do list of things you want to accomplish, none of which have anything to do with your family. Choose one thing and go for it! Sky-diving, anyone?

Re-evaluate your home. If it resembles anything from Barbie’s Dream House, redecorate!

Find a role model, someone who is strong, respected, and chic. Scour the magazines if you must – there’s absolutely nothing wrong with emulating the style of Nicole Kidman or Cate Blanchett.

Married To It
You say, “After so many years of marriage, why bother?” I say, “Do you have moments of utter disappointment, ones you never verbalize?” You say, “The thrill is gone.” I say, “Are you and your husband intimate? Physically or emotionally?”

After years of marriage and raising children, many women blend into the background and are oftentimes mistaken for furniture. Peering into their closets, we might find clothing inspired by images they have of their mothers or grandmothers. They feel that because they’ve reached a certain stage of life, they must adhere to the role of the invisible woman.

They seldom realize the difference between being needed and wanted. These lovely women have reached a crossroads. I encourage them to rediscover and reestablish themselves, their style, and their sex-appeal.

Advice for the Married To Its
Avoid matchy-matchy like the plague! Colors and accessories should complement one another, not reflect as mirror-images of each other.

Even if you don’t have the body of a twenty-year old, invest in good, sexy lingerie. Your husband may not take notice (the bum), but it will make you feel sexy, and that’s really what it’s all about.

Where the mind leads, the body will follow. Visualize yourself as a healthy, vibrant, and interesting woman, and by golly, you’ll become her.

Put yourself first. The kids are grown, and your husband is certainly able to help out around the house. Take an evening class, join a gym, spend a day at the spa – you deserve it for your wonderful years of service!

For the Boys
You say, “If you’ve got it, flaunt it.” I say, “Do you think that’s really all you have to offer?” You say, “I get hit on a lot.” I say, “You know what they’re really after, don’t you?”

Ah, the good-time girls! Merely out for a laugh, a drink, and any sort of attention they can get. Of course, it’s easy to get attention when one’s fruits and vegetables are on full display.

Most of them have never considered the fact that they way they dress sends the opposite message of the one they hope to send. “Look at me, I’m easy to love!” could easily be misread as “Look at me, I’m easy!” I’ve found that deep inside most of these girls resides a longing to feel true love and a fear that they’ll never find it. They use their scantily-clad ways as a defense mechanism to protect themselves from a past hurt they’ve endured. Usually, they blame themselves for the hurt, and as a result, they’ve an incredible amount of self-loathing.

Advice For the Girls Who Do It Strictly For the Boys

Reveal just enough of your physical assets to keep them guessing. Show a little cleavage, but keep the rest covered. If your legs are to-die-for, wear that short, slinky skirt with a turtleneck and boots.

For one month, stay out of the clubs. Go to dinner with your girlfriends, call your mother, or simply sit at home alone with a good book. Trust me; you’re not missing a thing by not being out there every night of the week.

Set goals. What do you hope to accomplish in five years? Twenty years? By the end of the week? Write your goals down and study them each day. This is a great method for helping you get what you want out of life, and will also help you think twice about questionable behavior now (behavior that could very well come back to haunt you!)

Realize that you are smart, charming, and gorgeous. You have more to offer the world than the gossip surrounding your drunken, unseemly behavior.

I do hope this little series has provided some food for thought. When I tell women I want them to look, feel, and live their absolute best, I mean it!

Beth Newman
Fashion and Lifestyle Advisor

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