A Look at a Family

Monday, January 28, 2013.  I race home from evening tutorials in order to plop myself in front of telly to catch the season premiere of Dallas.  I had just spent a good twenty minutes explaining to one of my students how watching television leads to brain rot, so I feel like a complete hypocrite.  I don’t normally race home nor plop for telly, but there’s something strangely reassuring about the night-time soap, the one I grew up with, which now possesses a bittersweet tone due to the recent passing of actor Larry Hagman. 

Mr. Newman is home on Monday evenings, and I’m sure he’d rather be doing anything else – detailing my car, ramming an ice-pick into his left eardrum, etc. – anything other than watching TV with me.  We don’t watch much TV, and after 14-years-of marriage it remains new territory for us.

I catch him up on the story line (J.R. is bad.  J.R.’s son is bad.  Bobby is good.  Bobby’s son is good).  “See,” Mr. Newman begins, “it would have been better if J.R.’s son had been the good one and Bobby’s son the bad.”  I agree with him and pray that the history lesson is over.  My prayer goes unanswered.  “Why can’t Sue Ellen have a glass of wine?”  he asks.  “Because,” I sigh, “she’s a recovering alcoholic who ended up in a sanitarium at one point.  My god, the things you don’t know!”  How I’ve remembered  this for thirty years, yet  can’t recall where I put the lid to my coffee pot during yesterday’s ‘ kitchen experiment’, I couldn’t tell you.  I don’t mention it to him, though, for I’m slightly embarrassed by it.  I also need to concentrate.

Strange noises begin to emit from Mr. Newman’s phone.  He recently acquired a new sound effects ap- for work purposes, I’m told, and soon he peppers tonight’s episode with them:

“Cliff Barnes nor his daughter will ever lay claim to Ewing Energy!”  someone hisses from the screen.

“What – Ever!” replies the snarky Valley Girl voice from Mr. Newman’s phone.

“There’s something you need to hear,” whispers a tearful member of the Ewing clan.

“THWWWPPPPPPSSSS!” screams the I-Phone, as if it had recently experienced a bad all-you-can-eat night at Big Bob’s Burritos.

Once our guffaws die down, we tune out the show for a bit in order to discuss our family.  Not the silliness that is us and the way in which we live (I describe it as silly; others have told me it’s downright deranged), but a very real, incredibly serious conversation about recruiting a new member to the Newman Team.  Since the passing of our beloved Kramer, we’re down a cat, and life seems unnatural and disjointed with just the three of us.  Tallulah Belle sits between us, trying to watch the show, and is visibly agitated by the disruptions.  Kramer never minded disruptions.  Tallulah Belle is a different story.  Tallulah Belle has developed quite an attitude lately, and is playing a dangerous game.

We’re pretty lucky, though, given the fact that our most pressing issue right now is whether or not to adopt another cat.  The only point during the evening in which we get sideways with each other has to do with the color of Patrick Duffy’s eyebrows, but I won’t bore you with the details of that debate.

As the evening draws to a close, I wonder if other families do what we do.  Do they center their lives on the comedy that is life?  Do they treat each day as if it were middle school, complete with animated discussions about cats and fart noises?  The Ewings of Dallas don’t, but my hope is that you and your family do.

 

Beth Newman

www.newmanimage.info

Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

The Sidewalk

A true tragedy occurred in my little corner of the world recently. Without going into too much detail, a troubled young man is no longer with us. I saw this young man frequently, we chatted occasionally, and that was the extent of our relationship. I witnessed authorities remove his lifeless body from his parents’ home, and it’s had me thinking an awful lot about life…how we spend it, with whom we spend it, and how much of it is caught up in idleness and unproductive behaviors.

It’s caused me to review how I while away my hours. I know I tend to spin my wheels and focus on business far too much. I’ll burn myself out on it completely– physically, emotionally, and spiritually -if I’m not careful. I need a hobby…a daily diversion…a little outlet, if you will, in order to wind down from the day-to-day.

That, of course, leads me to the whole ‘life balance’ issue: have I been diligent in forming true bonds with people? Do I follow-up as well as I could with family and friends? Truth be told, I’m terribly shy and guarded, and I often go on the assumption that my family and friends know how much I care about them. That old cliché of action speaking louder than words exists for a reason….

I suppose this young man’s death opened my eyes a little bit, and it certainly has forced me to take stock in my own life. I need to reach out a bit more. I need to slow down. I need to become more aware that someone who shares a sidewalk with me might be in the market for a bigger smile as we head to our cars each morning, or a little more conversation at the mailbox each evening.

Because, really, when it gets down to it, life is about making those true connections. We should never leave anyone wondering how we feel about them. We should never get so caught up in ourselves that we miss out on true, meaningful, life experiences. Simple concepts, really, but ones we don’t adhere to as often as we should. I intend to change that about myself; how about you?

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach/Author
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!
www.newmanimage.info

My Dad's Belt

I’ve absolutely fallen in love with the Boho Chic look that’s currently all rage. I tend to lean a bit more classically when it comes to my wardrobe, but there’s something to be said for playing with new colors, discovering easier fabrics, and incorporating bolder patterns and accessories. Really, that’s what style is all about, in my humble opinion: knowing what works for you while not fearing the addition of new twists.

As I researched the Boho Chic trend, I visualized what I already had in my closet that might work for me. The first item that occured to me isn’t actually mine, though; it’s an old belt that belonged to my late father. It’s a tobacco-hued leather – nothing fancy or expensive – and bears a pewter buckle that reads Prairie Cattle Company, Tulia and features a little engraved prairie dog right in the center.

I only recall my dad wearing the belt a few times when I was a small child. He worked at the cattle company for a short while before becoming the grain lord of Castro County (that’s in the Texas Panhandle, by the way; it has nothing to do with Cuba). I’d actually forgotten all about the belt until after he passed. I discovered it while sorting through his things and grabbed it without giving it much thought – just a keepsake, something to have that was his. It never occurred to me that five years later I’d sport the darn thing as my ‘newest wardrobe acquisition’. Of course, I had to get it fitted, and I’ve absolutely fallen in love with it.

I wore it the other day as I assisted an older woman in putting together her spring wardrobe. We were inside a local boutique sorting through belts when she looked at mine and asked, “Where can I find one like the one you’re wearing?” I explained the story behind it. Tears welled up in her eyes as she proclaimed, “Honey, that’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard!”

I never considered that my wearing it would ever be ‘sweet’. ‘Cheap’ actually came to mind first because I didn’t want to go out and buy a new belt. ‘Unique’ crossed my thoughts because, after all, nobody else has a belt like this. ‘Comical’ also popped into my head because I know that my dad is somewhere getting quite a kick out of it, laughing and shaking his head, wondering why on earth I’d want to wear that old thing.

Well, Daddy, I wear it for three reasons: a) it’s cool and works smashingly well with the new boots I just got, b) it really falls into fashion right now, and c) it was yours. I appreciate you for not tossing it out on one of your rare tossing-out binges. It’s awesome beyond words – just like its original owner.


Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach
www.newmanimage.info
Look,feel, and LIVE your absolute best!