Baby, If You've Ever Wondered....

Just the other day, my inbox contained a very nice – and surprising – message. It was from a wonderful gentleman with whom I had the good fortune to work with during my radio days. I’ve not seen nor spoken to him in the last two decades, but he’d been on my mind recently, so you can imagine how thrilled I was to hear from him. Out of the blue. Just like that.

After the initial “How ya doing/what ya doing/” back-and-forth, my friend asked me whatever happened to our former boss, a man (and I use the term loosely here) I’ll simply refer to as Old Shan. Old Shan served as our station manager. My friend hosted the morning show, and yours truly was simply referred to as ‘The Afternoon Girl’. Anyway, Old Shan left quite an impression on my friend and me – and it’s not the impression he wanted to leave, I’m sure.

To put it bluntly, Old Shan was not a nice person.

Old Shan was not an emotionally stable person.

Old Shan might be your best friend one day, and your worst enemy the next.

I can support the above statements with the following examples: yelling, cursing, snap decisions, reversals of those snap decisions, poor business judgments, poor hiring choices, sexual harassment, manipulation, and far too much unpaid overtime.

And these all happened on our ‘good days’.

I stuck it out there for over a year, so you can imagine my reeling head when I finally wised up and left.

I’d often thought that perhaps it was just me. As the only on-air girl (and that term applies – I was only 21 or 22 years-old during this stint), I assumed that I was the problem, and that all of Old Shan's big and little rants actually meant something. Perhaps I wasn’t working hard enough. Perhaps I wasn’t doing my job effectively. Perhaps he didn’t like women. Perhaps he simply didn’t like me. I didn’t understand it then, but looking back, I realize that it wasn’t me.

It was him.

He treated everyone on staff deplorably.

During our exchange, my friend recalled some of his own Old Shan experiences, which were, of course, quite similar to my own. He said he’d often fantasized over the years about tracking him down and giving him a piece of his mind. I confessed I’d done the same thing, but because I truly believe in karma, I’m hopeful that Old Shan has learned a lesson, and has come out better for it.

And I have to hand it to Old Shan, for he taught me how to better deal with a couple of other ‘bad bosses’ I’ve had over the years. I suppose he entered my life in order to teach me that the world is made up of all kinds of people, and if you want to get anywhere in life, you’ve got to learn how to effectively deal with them. It’s okay, too, I learned, that if you can’t deal with them, you can certainly leave them. No need to get bogged down in someone else’s bad mojo.

A job is a job is a job….do what you love, do it well, and reap the rewards.

My friend is doing just that. He’s still in radio (God bless him!), and he’s tapped into another passion of his – he opened his own bike shop. I’m delighted for him, and so glad to reconnect with him.

Beth Newman
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
‘Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!’

The Sidewalk

A true tragedy occurred in my little corner of the world recently. Without going into too much detail, a troubled young man is no longer with us. I saw this young man frequently, we chatted occasionally, and that was the extent of our relationship. I witnessed authorities remove his lifeless body from his parents’ home, and it’s had me thinking an awful lot about life…how we spend it, with whom we spend it, and how much of it is caught up in idleness and unproductive behaviors.

It’s caused me to review how I while away my hours. I know I tend to spin my wheels and focus on business far too much. I’ll burn myself out on it completely– physically, emotionally, and spiritually -if I’m not careful. I need a hobby…a daily diversion…a little outlet, if you will, in order to wind down from the day-to-day.

That, of course, leads me to the whole ‘life balance’ issue: have I been diligent in forming true bonds with people? Do I follow-up as well as I could with family and friends? Truth be told, I’m terribly shy and guarded, and I often go on the assumption that my family and friends know how much I care about them. That old cliché of action speaking louder than words exists for a reason….

I suppose this young man’s death opened my eyes a little bit, and it certainly has forced me to take stock in my own life. I need to reach out a bit more. I need to slow down. I need to become more aware that someone who shares a sidewalk with me might be in the market for a bigger smile as we head to our cars each morning, or a little more conversation at the mailbox each evening.

Because, really, when it gets down to it, life is about making those true connections. We should never leave anyone wondering how we feel about them. We should never get so caught up in ourselves that we miss out on true, meaningful, life experiences. Simple concepts, really, but ones we don’t adhere to as often as we should. I intend to change that about myself; how about you?

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach/Author
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!
www.newmanimage.info

My New Friend

I met the most fascinating woman this week.

Our introduction occurred in a clothing boutique. I struggled to determine her age (it’s impolite to ask, you know). Twenties, a very good thirty-ish…I couldn’t figure it out, and of course, it didn’t really matter. We began chatting, and I found myself totally in awe of her. She’s tall, with the most beautiful, unruly head of hair I’ve ever seen. Her deep, smoky voice rarely rises above a whisper. She revealed very little about herself. Originally from New England, she made her way to Texas last year because she felt ‘it would be best’. I don’t like to pry, but I confess I could not wait to hear her story, because I knew it would be absolutely delicious.

Randomly, she asked about my posture. I told her that standing up straight was merely a habit, and anyone could do it. “I want you to help me,” she said, “feel free to physically straighten me up anytime you see me slouching.” There’s no small talk with her; she gazes into your eyes intensely, asking questions, and really wanting to know things about you.

She has no car (not even a drivers’ license), and lives ‘with a few people’. “I like to work,” she said. “When I’m not working I’m at home. I have no family here. What else am I going to do?”

By this time, I’m bursting with intrigue. Her mysterious aura mesmerized me. I want to know everything I can about her!

“Have you read The Secret?” she asked. Of course, I have. “What about The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success?” I explained to her that Chopra’s little guide was the one that got me started on my journey toward enlightenment. “Me, too….yeah, me too….” She responded dreamily.

All I could gather from our first conversation was this: she’s smart – almost ‘scary smart’. She’s taking steps toward finding out ‘what it’s all about’ (her words). She’s been in some trouble that’s separated her from her family. She doesn’t party, because she’s ‘done with that scene.’

And here’s the kicker: she’s only 18-years-old.

She carries with her such presence, such mystique, and such confidence that I naturally assumed her to be older. She possesses that certain something that a few women spend a lifetime seeking. She’s not interested in figuratively purging herself as so many are. In a day in which anything goes, she’s guarded enough to keep others coming back for more – a breath of fresh air, to be sure.

We’ve talked every day this week. She asked me if I might serve as ‘a bit of a mother figure – nothing heavy’ for her, since her own mom is so far away. Having no children of my own, this is the sort of request that really gets you right where you live.

I’ve often heard about old souls, and I know I’ve met a few of them in my life, but none has fascinated me more than this young woman. A kinship between us already exists – one that I cannot explain. And I look so forward to seeing where this ride may lead.

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!
Online consultations available!

Was It Something I Said?

Yours truly has recently been called out regarding a couple of articles I’ve written, so I thought it wise to come clean about a few things.

First of all, I’m not writing about you. I take little bits and pieces of things I witness, things that I feel should be addressed, and attempt to shed a little light on the matter. I’m not judging anyone, nor am I attempting some sort of underhanded jab at anyone. That’s not my style, and anyone who truly knows me understands that.

Second, it’s fine and dandy to question anything I’ve written. As a writer, I expect it. Heck, I encourage it. Let’s generate some sort of dialogue and get a ‘big picture’ movement going. With article-writing and blogging, we tend to write in generalities – the genre simply won’t allow us to dive in too deeply and cover every aspect of every situation. I’ve got my views; you’ve got yours, so let’s chat!

I’ve never claimed to be perfect, and anyone who’s spent a good five minutes with me can certainly attest that I am not.

So rather than musing about it all, I’ll just make a list and let you know where I stand on certain things – things that I’ve actually been questioned about lately:

-We’re all here for a reason, so why not make it a good one? I like to help people, I really do, and I know that within us all dwells the power to create meaningful, magnificent lives. If I can help you tap into that power with any little musing I might publish, then I’m a happy girl, for sure! Any guilt or resentment you may feel upon reading any of my little scribblings might be an indication that something isn’t right in your world. I’d be more than happy to help you figure it out, because I want you to live joyfully and peacefully. I sincerely mean it.

- For me, personally, television is a big waste of time. What little free time I do have is spent outdoors – by the pool, on the beach…just seek out some water, and you’re sure to find me there. Don’t ask me if I’ve caught (insert your favorite program here) because I haven’t. I’m a fan of Absolutely Fabulous; I own the DVD collection and watch it probably far more than I should, Sweetie-Darling. Project Runway is a hit with me, and occasionally I’ll catch The Office and 30 Rock. You have your shows, I have mine, and that's that, as far as I’m concerned.

- As a woman I find Sex and the City truly offensive. I can’t say why, specifically – I just do. Please stop asking me if I’ll go see it with you. If it entertains you, that’s great – that's what it's supposed to do. It leaves me sad and a bit frightened…but that’s just me. I, evidently, have overlooked that certain something that makes it so popular. (And yes, I did watch a few episodes, and am baffled that it became not one, but two smash movies - go figure!)

-Generally speaking, I have no problem with plastic surgery. I’ve no problem with Botox. I’ve an issue, however, with overall transformations on the Heidi Montag scale. I’ve often found, too, that sometimes those little nips, tucks, and augmentations never truly satisfy a girl. Confidence, self-esteem, and happiness must come from within.

-I do not have a problem with people who are overweight. I’ve been there myself, and I know how challenging it can be to lose it. I am, however, concerned by those who merely complain about being overweight rather than actually doing something about it.

-I’ll never understand the popularity of crocs, nor do I get why so many people choose to wear track suits during air travel.

-I don’t get your garden gnome, and I get it that you may not understand my framed photo of Rick Springfield that sits on my desk.

You see, we all have our ‘things’ – our likes, our dislikes, our preferences, and such. I’m really not trying to push any sort of ideal off on you. I merely want to inform, perhaps enlighten, and maybe even entertain through my writing.

And that, my friends, is me in a nutshell: a silly girl who believes that life should be a worthy and fun adventure, a gal who believes in the power of fabulous shoes, a chick who enjoys a good laugh at the absurdity of pretty much any given situation, and someone who truly never intends to offend anyone.

I’m me…you’re you…and it’s all good, as far as I’m concerned.

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!