'Tis the Season

Okay, I know I know I know....I made promises to scribble more diligently, but life gets in the way, boys and girls, and I've been far too busy and sleepy to keep you in the loop. Anyhow, my intentions for rectifying the situation are good, so cross your fingers, wish me luck, and then get on with your lives.

'Tis the season, so let's talk about the joy of giving, and the headache that typically comes along with it.

First of all, I don't like to brag, but I've completed most of my holiday shopping, and what I haven't bought I intend to make.  Those on my gift list should be highly concerned right about now.

Online ordering proves itself yet again as the way to go, and many members of my family (myself included) have enough snap to set up Christmas Wish Lists on Amazon.  Sure, it eliminates the element of surprise to a degree, but I'd rather be slightly less thrilled in getting what I've requested rather than overly put out because I've received garbage for which I've no use.

As an enthusiastic giver of gifts, and an equally enthusiastic receiver of one (exceptions:  see garbage), I've put together a list of helpful hints and snarky suggestions for your holiday consideration:

Be Thoughtful:  Whether it comes from a wish list or not, really think about your recipient.  What does she need? (a good night's sleep) What does she want? (tickets to see Rick Springfield at the Hobby Center on February 6).  Notice her manner of dress, the way in which she decorates her home, what she eats, what she drinks, and the how she spends her time.  If she spends her time alone, overly indulging in food and drink, a nice necklace will suffice.

Regarding home decor:  if you're offering framed photos, keep the space of your recipient in mind.  Small candle holders are a nice thought, but can be tricky.  She may have bigger household issues to deal with (squirrel infestation), and a glass what-not from Kirkland's just might not cut it this year.

Be Creative:  I personally love home-made gifts, particularly if it's something that's well executed and comes from the heart.  

Think about your talents and go from there.  You might take a moment to make a list to help you narrow down your choices. Feel free to use my list as an example:

What I'm Good At:
-presenting information
-coordinating outfits
-keeping score

What I Pretend to Be Good At:
-knitting
-sewing
-listening

What I Don't Care That I'm no Good At But Do Anyway:
-cooking
-playing the ukulele
-spying

So everyone on my list this year can expect to receive vital information (gossip) while I sift through their purses. Don't tell me not to do it; I'm not listening.

Honestly, though, how many of our beloved actually need anything?  Do they have food, clothing, and shelter?  If so, why not put a little more time, energy, and money into helping those who don't have the essentials we take for granted.  For example:

-The Salvation Army Christmas Angel Tree Project- an opportunity to give gifts to underprivileged children and senior citizens in your area

                                          Or you could....

-Donate poinsettias or other holiday items to a nursing home or other facility that may need cheering

-Take all the toys your three ungrateful cats don't play with and donate them to an animal shelter.  Shelters will also take food, blankets, cat litter, and cold hard cash.

-Check in on a single neighbor to see if she/he needs anything done around the house (see squirrel infestation).

Let's get creative in letting our loved ones know we love them this time of year, but let's not be stingy with that love - lots of folks can use it.

Valentine’s Day and Other Random Ramblings

Here we find ourselves, Sweeties, just two days away from Valentine’s Day – a made-up holiday that shines a stupendously stunning spotlight on love and let-down. 

I’m all for expressions of amore, but let’s face facts:  Valentine’s Day can be a major stress factor in a relationship.  Years ago, during one of my many professional ventures, a colleague spent Cupid’s day fuming because her husband did not send flowers to the office.   A downright downer during any given minute, this gal’s downer-ness exploded to massive proportions by the end of this particular Valentine’s workday.  I went out of my way to drop by her cubicle, my own flowers in hand, to express my genuine (i.e. half-hearted borderline snarky) sympathies before leaving.

They later divorced.  I’m not certain if her flowerlessness contributed to the demise of their marriage, but I’m sure it didn’t help matters. She made the mountains- out- of- mole-hills concept into an art form, and I felt both sorry and relieved for her husband when I heard of their split.

And don’t get me started on those awful jewelry commercials inundating us at the moment, sending the message that no woman is completely happy unless she’s got some sort of reduced-price diamond hanging off her person.  This sort of nonsense only adds to the ‘special princess for a day’ concept that women buy into figuratively and men buy into literally. 

Ridiculous.  Give me something I can use.

Like a pink ukulele.

That’s right.  When Mr. Newman asked what I wanted for this pretend (and might I add pretentious) celebration, I gave him my standard answer:  nothing.  He’s persistent, though, so I finally gave in and told him to get me a pink ukulele.  I’d love to improve upon my already (non-existent) musical leanings, and I’m confident that a P.U. will assist me in doing so.  And P.U. is what the masses will cry when I take my act to various open-mic nights throughout the greater Houston area.

Speaking of musical geniuses, did you catch that fabulous Beatles tribute the other night?    My only ‘wouldn’t it be cool if... .’ thought centered on a Sir Paul, Ringo, Dhani Harrison, and Julian (not Sean) Lennon jam session.  I was thrilled, however, when Dhani took the stage with Jeff Lynn and Joe Walsh, and equally elated when Sean stayed in his seat and kept his yap shut.

Speaking of keeping one’s yap shut, I’m finding it more difficult to do these days.  I lovingly informed a fifteen-year-old girl last night that the reason I would not join her in her second bag of microwavable popcorn is because it’s full of chemicals and if she wanted to dig herself an early grave, go for it.  ‘Chew with your mouth closed, please, and get back to your book,’ I added.

Speaking of books, I’ve always been against the banning and burning of them, but have changed my tune upon reading Shirley Jones’ memoirs last week.  Poorly written, poorly edited, and chock-full of TMI (and not the good kind), I’m tempted to ask for my money back, but I can’t because I checked it out of the library, so I’m tempted to simply turn in my library card.

Speaking of Temptations, I ain’t too proud to beg:  please, might we all settle down this Valentine’s Day and stop pressuring our beloved into wasting money on pointless tokens of love?  I’ve a very dear friend who used to tell her children that they could have anything they wanted as long as it wasn’t advertised on television.  An ingenious notion, in my humble opinion.

You don’t see any pink ukulele advertised, now do you?

All you need is love.

If, however, you’re forced to reveal your deepest desires this Valentine’s Day, take a good hard look at yourself.  What do you really want?  What speaks to you?  Remember, it’s not a competition, even though the media has made it such.  Just because Jane Seymour says you need necklace doesn’t necessarily mean that you do.  Just because those broads in the office next door get the standard candy and flowers doesn’t mean you should.  Get creative.  C’mon, get happy.

Speaking of happy, I do hope you have lovely Valentine’s Day.  I really mean it.

 

 

(Coming up on Elegant Musings:  Will Mrs. Newman receive the pink ukulele from Mr. Newman?  If not, will she actually make a withdrawal from her ‘Facelift Fund’ and get it herself?  Will the popcorn munching teen’s mom pay up for the two-months of tutorials Beth has so generously offered like clock-work each and every week?  Tune in next time….)

 

Hosts, Guests, and other Malcontents

With Thanksgiving just a couple of days away, ‘tis the perfect opportunity to remind you, Sweeties, of how to host, how to guest, and how to generally not make life-long enemies this time of year. Remember, our image goes much deeper than the clothes on our backs: part of it includes our ability to entertain graciously within our homes, our dedication to being the best possible guest ever, and most importantly, to leave everyone wondering, “How does she stay so pretty throughout the day?”

Hosts

Don’t Kill Yourself – In our modern world, it’s quite easy to have someone else do the heavy lifting. I haven’t put it to paper, but I would venture to guess that you can cater your Thanksgiving meal just as affordably as you could should you go ‘the old-fashioned route’. I know for a fact that you can easily feed 6-8 people their turkey, stuffing, gravy, and dinner rolls for $39.99. Have your guests bring additional sides and pies. This way, you won’t have to get up at 4:30 am Thanksgiving morning, nor will you spend the biggest part of the day in the kitchen (unless you simply have to do so in order to get away from ‘those people’)

Spot Clean – Cleanliness is next to Godliness, so you should really take a good, hard look at yourself if your home requires more than a bit of dusting and mopping before your guests arrive. Those newspapers stacked up aren’t really newsworthy anymore, and what is now referred to as ‘The Bathroom Mishap of ‘88’ should have been dealt with back in ’88, don’t you think?

Look Smashing – Nobody likes an unkempt hostess. Go out of your way to wow your guests with your charming style. Avoid track suits, crocs, a bathrobe, or an oversized sweatshirt. Your guests will be so impressed by how fabulous you look that they won’t notice the overcooked turkey and undercooked mashed potatoes.

Keep On Hand – aspirin, Tums, extra wine, toilet paper, Diet Coke (only if your father-in-law is Larry Newman, and if he’s not, what’s he doing at your place and not mine on Thanksgiving?) Benadryl (if you’ve got guests who are allergic to cats), and a good sense of humor.


Guests

Bring Something – it’s in poor taste to show up at someone’s home without a little something –something for the hostess. She went to a lot of trouble to look nice for you. A little trinket of some sort, in addition to the side dish you’ve been assigned, is a nice gesture. Guests who bring me things I like (for example, a good bottle of Merlot), are sure to be invited back next Thanksgiving.

Arrive On Time, and Not Any Earlier – your hostess needs those last few minutes in order to go over last-minute, vital details (place settings, false eyelashes, the usual)

Look Before You Sit – My old cat, Kramer, seldom moves from his spot on the couch these days. Please don’t sit on him.

Don’t Complain – Nobody wants to hear your gripes, particularly if they’re aimed at the hostess or her home.

Don’t Touch That Dial – Never take the liberty of turning on a television that doesn’t belong to you. If you simply must catch ‘the big game’ on Thanksgiving, stay home to do it.

Leave and Don’t Come Back – when I was growing up, we developed a peculiar tradition of spending most of Thanksgiving Day at my grandmother’s house, then leaving, then going back that evening for leftovers. This only created extra work for my grandmother. Leave at a reasonable hour, take leftovers if you’re invited to do so, and let your hostess get on with her business (tidying up, napping, finishing up that Merlot you brought, etc.)

Common courtesy and good intentions go a long way on Thanksgiving. Be on your best behavior, look your best, and enjoy a blessed day with your loved ones. Cheers, Sweeties!



Beth Newman
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

Holiday Ease (Part Four)

We’ve already discussed giving and why we do it. Today I’d like to share some great little finds friends and I have discovered that make wonderful gifts or stocking stuffers:

For Fashion Forward Gal Pals:
Anything from the Miss Oops line (www.missoops.com). Quick little fixes for the fabulous at heart. Delivery is super fast.

For the Traveling Man Who Has Everything:
Travel-size versions of his favorite colognes, shampoos, etc.

Light Reading for the Well-Read:
Magazine subscriptions (Vogue, Men’s Vogue, Town and Country, Vanity Fair)

For the House Proud:
Poopourrie (www.poopourrie.net) A small little miracle for any bathroom. No more overly-scented room deodorizers!

For Kids Who Aren’t Your Own:
Gift bags filled to the brim with all sorts of inexpensive little goodies (Silly Putty, whistles, colored chalk, etc.)


Tipping
Now, I’ve received many inquiries regarding tipping and gifts for those who provide year-round service. My general rule of thumb is a follows:

Manicurist/Pedicurist/Massage Therapist/Hair Stylist – Double the tip you normally give them, and throw in a lovely little box of chocolates (or something to that effect).

Housekeeper- If you use a service, include a small tip for each person who cleans your home (that’s in addition to what the service normally charges). If you use an independent cleaner, I’d recommend a generous tip or even doubling what you usually pay them. A jar of nice hand cream along with the extra cash will be greatly appreciated!

Favorite Waiter/Bartender – Again, double your usual tip and slip them a card expressing how much you appreciate their attentiveness as you wine and dine.


Charitable Giving
Should you desire in lieu of gifts to make a charitable donation in someone’s name, do check with that someone to make sure it’s okay. Yes, giving to charity is vitally important, just don’t assume your loved ones (especially children) will be completely on board with it. .

Again, dear friends, it’s our intentions while giving that really matter. I encourage you to do it willingly and from the heart.

Happy holidays to you and yours!

Beth Newman
Fashion and Lifestyle Advisor
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!