TCB, Baby

Somebody Should Really Do Something About All of the Problems!

So read a headline in The Onion a few years back.  I chuckled at that one before I even dove into the faux article.  I’ve known people all my life ready and willing to complain, but rarely stepping up to help.  I never got it – I was always wired to jump in and take care of business.   That’s how my parents did things.  They knew how to ‘make it work’ long before Tim Gunn coined the phrase on Project Runway.

As I do my best to preach the gospel of fabulosity, I must remind you, Sweeties, that a little TCB makes a mighty big difference.  One will never be fabulous if she’s willing to sit by and let others do the grunt work.  She loses points if she complains while others are ‘gittin’ it done’ (geesh – I’ve resorted to quoting Larry the Cable Guy.  How desperate am I to make my point?), and she should be smacked upside the head with a pink feather boa if she fails to say ‘thank you’ when the job is done.

And it doesn’t matter the task at hand.  In many cases, one can easily make arrangements for proper health care for an elderly relative in the same amount of time it takes to unload the dishwasher and vacuum the floor.  Of course, situations exist that will take more time.  My advice is to start chipping away at these immediately, before you end up with a full-fledged mess on your hands. 

I’d also like to remind you, too, that your attitude while pitching in determines just how fabulous others shall perceive you.  When we start moaning and groaning, we’re not going about it in the right spirit.  We’ll only reap blessings when we give our time, money, talents, expertise, etc. with a glad heart.

So if you’ve ever complained about the way in which something has ever been handled, put your money where your mouth is and start contributing to the greater good.  If you’ve ever approached someone with the phrase, ‘You need to tell so-and-so to…” you should really think about what type of person doesn’t have the onions to go directly to so-and-so.  So-and-so could very well have a full plate in front of her, and might certainly appreciate a break from you.

If there is a problem

Yo, I’ll solve it…

Yikes!  I’m now quoting Vanilla Ice.   Do you see the depths in which I’m sinking regarding today’s topic?

Go out there and just be fabulous.  Stop whining, and exceed expectations in all that you do.  Is this really too much to ask?

Beth Newman

www.newmanimage.info

Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!  Be sure to catch Beth’s show, ‘The Fabulosity Factor’ this Wednesday at 10am CST on BlogTalk Radio.

Hosts, Guests, and other Malcontents

With Thanksgiving just a couple of days away, ‘tis the perfect opportunity to remind you, Sweeties, of how to host, how to guest, and how to generally not make life-long enemies this time of year. Remember, our image goes much deeper than the clothes on our backs: part of it includes our ability to entertain graciously within our homes, our dedication to being the best possible guest ever, and most importantly, to leave everyone wondering, “How does she stay so pretty throughout the day?”

Hosts

Don’t Kill Yourself – In our modern world, it’s quite easy to have someone else do the heavy lifting. I haven’t put it to paper, but I would venture to guess that you can cater your Thanksgiving meal just as affordably as you could should you go ‘the old-fashioned route’. I know for a fact that you can easily feed 6-8 people their turkey, stuffing, gravy, and dinner rolls for $39.99. Have your guests bring additional sides and pies. This way, you won’t have to get up at 4:30 am Thanksgiving morning, nor will you spend the biggest part of the day in the kitchen (unless you simply have to do so in order to get away from ‘those people’)

Spot Clean – Cleanliness is next to Godliness, so you should really take a good, hard look at yourself if your home requires more than a bit of dusting and mopping before your guests arrive. Those newspapers stacked up aren’t really newsworthy anymore, and what is now referred to as ‘The Bathroom Mishap of ‘88’ should have been dealt with back in ’88, don’t you think?

Look Smashing – Nobody likes an unkempt hostess. Go out of your way to wow your guests with your charming style. Avoid track suits, crocs, a bathrobe, or an oversized sweatshirt. Your guests will be so impressed by how fabulous you look that they won’t notice the overcooked turkey and undercooked mashed potatoes.

Keep On Hand – aspirin, Tums, extra wine, toilet paper, Diet Coke (only if your father-in-law is Larry Newman, and if he’s not, what’s he doing at your place and not mine on Thanksgiving?) Benadryl (if you’ve got guests who are allergic to cats), and a good sense of humor.


Guests

Bring Something – it’s in poor taste to show up at someone’s home without a little something –something for the hostess. She went to a lot of trouble to look nice for you. A little trinket of some sort, in addition to the side dish you’ve been assigned, is a nice gesture. Guests who bring me things I like (for example, a good bottle of Merlot), are sure to be invited back next Thanksgiving.

Arrive On Time, and Not Any Earlier – your hostess needs those last few minutes in order to go over last-minute, vital details (place settings, false eyelashes, the usual)

Look Before You Sit – My old cat, Kramer, seldom moves from his spot on the couch these days. Please don’t sit on him.

Don’t Complain – Nobody wants to hear your gripes, particularly if they’re aimed at the hostess or her home.

Don’t Touch That Dial – Never take the liberty of turning on a television that doesn’t belong to you. If you simply must catch ‘the big game’ on Thanksgiving, stay home to do it.

Leave and Don’t Come Back – when I was growing up, we developed a peculiar tradition of spending most of Thanksgiving Day at my grandmother’s house, then leaving, then going back that evening for leftovers. This only created extra work for my grandmother. Leave at a reasonable hour, take leftovers if you’re invited to do so, and let your hostess get on with her business (tidying up, napping, finishing up that Merlot you brought, etc.)

Common courtesy and good intentions go a long way on Thanksgiving. Be on your best behavior, look your best, and enjoy a blessed day with your loved ones. Cheers, Sweeties!



Beth Newman
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

Somebody's Watching

A while back, the headmaster of the school where I taught for so many years forwarded to me an essay written by one of his students. Entitled My Most Mannered Teacher, it was about yours truly. This essay detailed the reasons why she felt I deserved kudos for displaying good manners, for treating everyone kindly, and such. I never had this child as a student. She was a little bitty thing in the elementary department, and I was upstairs with my middle school students. I had very little interaction with this young woman, so you can imagine my surprise when I read her essay.

I’m not relating this to you in order to brag, for I feel there are others at this school more deserving of this praise than I. I’m simply hoping to covey just how those little things we do add up, and to stress that someone, somewhere, is watching.

Sure, we can spend all day long telling kids (and adults, too, for that matter) just what to do. But when the rubber hits the road, it’s our actions that will have a far greater impact on them.

We stress to them the importance of speaking highly of others, then turn around and gossip about our neighbor. We tell them to treat others respectfully while we rudely disregard our spouse. We encourage them to have faith during challenging times, then panic or throw a tantrum when things don’t go our way.

Actions speak louder than words –an oldie but a goody, and a cliché that exists for a reason.

So remember, Sweeties, people do remember what you did, and how you made them feel. Your actions could very easily impact someone’s life. You may be someone’s role model. Keep that in mind the next time you’re tempted to forget your manners.

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach/Author
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

Online consultations available!

Now That's Classy!

In every society, there are ‘human benchmarks’- certain individuals whose behavior becomes a model for everyone else – shining examples that others admire and emulate. We call these individuals ‘class acts’ – Dan Sullivan

Some devotees of etiquette and style turn their noses down at the word ‘classy’ – they feel it just isn’t, well, classy. I’ve always liked the word, though. As a little girl I equated ‘classy’ with overly-suntanned women wearing white swimsuits and gold necklaces who sipped Tab by the pool all day. They’d later change into lovely caftans and join some hunky, heavily- mustached gentlemen for a glass of Ruinite while listening to the Captain and Tennille’s Do That to Me One More Time on their hi-fis.

You’ll have to pardon my limited childhood scope. I grew up in a very small-town. No one wore white swimsuits, and almost everyone blew off steam with a cold can of Coors and Willie Nelson blaring from an 8-track.

As I got older and expanded my horizons, I realized that classy goes far beyond the message the 70’s television ads were trying to send to poor dumb kids like me: classy is a state of mind. It’s the way in which we treat one another. It’s the way in which we treat ourselves.

Waking up each morning with a big grin and the words thank you on the tip of our tongues – that’s classy.

Taking the time to put on a little lipstick and something that doesn’t make us look like we just got out of 7th grade PE – that’s classy.

Asking others about themselves and really listening to their answers – that’s classy.

Minding our manners and our language both in and out of the public eye – that’s classy.

Choosing to surround ourselves with positive influences – that’s classy.

Focusing on every good aspect of our lives, and choosing to ignore the crummy ones – that’s classy.

An excellent sense of humor – that’s classy.

Remaining true to who we really are without fear of judgment or repercussion – that’s classy.

Allowing The Captain and Tennille and Willie Nelson to share space on our IPod – that’s classy.

All we have to do, my friends, is raise the bar a little higher for ourselves.

Let’s uplift others while enjoying each day. Let’s be the kind of people whom others look forward to spending time with.

To those of you who truly strive for classiness each day, I raise my Tab and salute you.

An Open Letter to Parents

Dear Parents,

I must preface this note by admitting to you that I don’t have children of my own. However, after teaching middle school for a good number of years, and because a good portion of my clients are children, I believe I am somewhat qualified to offer the following:

Many of your kids are much too loud in public.

I apologize if you take offense at this, but it’s true, and the rolled eyes and dirty looks thrown your way by others in restaurants, churches, and stores confirms my observations.

Last night, whilst enjoying a burger at my neighborhood spot, several of you sat on one side of the restaurant, and allowed your children to sit away from you. Granted, these children were old enough to sit alone (or so I thought). Those young people were unspeakably rude – their volume was much too loud and their conversation was questionable. You were too busy enjoying your $2 margaritas to notice, but I, and others, did. We were not amused.

A while back, you took a small group of children to one of my favorite haunts. You sat with them, but allowed them to run amok, make messes, and generally create chaos. You also left the mess for the busboy to clean, and I couldn’t help but notice you didn’t leave a tip.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I love children – I absolutely adore them. I’ve dedicated a good portion of my life’s work to them. I need some help, though: I can’t teach them proper behavior if you don’t back me up on it.

Most likely, you simply don’t notice their shenanigans, and I understand – they may, in fact, behave far worse at home, and their raucous actions in public are actually a break for you. I gently remind you, though, that your family is not the only one frequenting these places. Please show respect for other patrons by expecting your children to behave in a civilized manner.

Years ago, I had the very good fortune to accompany a group of middle school students to Italy. While strolling through the quiet, lovely streets of Florence, I lost my cool vibe when I was forced to tell one of my students to lower her voice. Her mother stood right next to her as she wailed, moaned, and generally made a spectacle of herself. Mom didn’t say a word, so it was up to Mrs. Newman to do so. Mom then took me to task for not allowing her daughter to express herself.

Please trust me, Mom; no one finds your daughter quite as amusing as you do.

Again, my apologies for the harsh tone. I really do love your children; I simply ask that we join forces to instill in them good manners, and the recognition that the world does not revolve around them.

Kindest regards,

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!