Our Cause in Review

On-the-job travels have kept me away for a couple of weeks, so I welcome myself back to this little musing with open arms.

Unfortunately, Gentle Reader, I have no specific topic in mind, but since we're here to celebrate elegance, let's reconnoiter.  We cannot make strides toward world domination if we don't take pause to review what, specifically, we're here to do.  

Elegant Musings Mission Statement:  to enhance our lives with lovely and loving people, places, and things.  To ignore and/or mock those who refuse to measure up to our high standards.  To dress appropriately for every occasion and to use the proper fork. To display good will for all except those who don't deserve it (which includes but is not limited to bigots, hate-mongers, narcissists, oblivions, and your basic run-of-the-mill idiots).

Requirements for Acceptance:  a good sense of humor and a desire to make the world a kinder, more compassionate and spiffier place.

Things We Won't Tolerate:  whiners, loud-mouths, stinkpots, cat-haters, know-it-alls, and lactose.

Things We Will Tolerate:  humor, irony, spiritual exploration, art, five-dollar words, and bottles of red wine.

How You Can Help:  laugh at this blog when appropriate, share this blog if you'd like, and take this and any other advice-offering forum with a grain of salt.  Only you know what's best for you.  Don't give me that, of course you do - turn off the TV, sit in silence for a minute (or day...or week...) and try to figure yourself out, for crying out loud.

Any Other Business?:  why, yes, thanks for asking. The only way we can make the world a more elegant place is by doing the best job we can while on this plane. No fighting, demonstrating, petition-signing is going to do it.  Pick a couple of causes that resonate with you (in addition to this one), and contribute what you can peacefully.  

Turn off all gadgets while at the dinner table.  

Eat good food.  Real food.  Fresh food.  

Shop locally if you can, and do visit second-hand and thrift stores often.

Limit the amount of stuff in your home.

Clean your home, for Heavens' sake.

Adopt as many cats and dogs as you can.

Limit your attention to Western medicine; seek alternatives when you're ill (if you're gravely ill, see a doctor, though - don't be stupid).

Get together with friends on a regular basis.

I could go on, but I've got Pineapple Pork (yes, local and organic, Wise Guy) in the crock pot and I must take my leave of you, dear hearts, in order to check on it.  If I haven't told you before, let me tell you now:  I appreciate you so much for reading my little scribblings, and although we may not change the world, it's nice to know I'm in good company in our efforts.

Keep Those Cards and Letters Coming

I’ve debated whether or not to share this nugget with you, Sweeties, but I choose to do so because a) it may help someone somehow, b) it drives home the point that tact and elegance have quickly become charming little notions of the past, and c) I find it absolutely hilarious.

It started about two months ago when a former reader of this little scribbling of mine sent a personal message in order to complain about the content.  Excerpts from our exchange are as follows:

She:  …it used to be so much more inspirational than this.  What’s going on?

Me:  There’s plenty of inspiring material out there for everyone.  I suppose as a writer I just feel compelled to go down a different road.

Later that Day

She:  But the stuff you write now is boring and not very funny.  I don’t get it.  You call yourself a writer, but shouldn’t writers have a point of view?

Me:  I suppose it helps to have a point of view, but I do it because I enjoy it.

That Night

She:  But aren’t you trying to run some sort of business?  I’m great at networking my own business, and I can assure you that what you’re doing won’t bring you any customers.

Me:  Aside from the occasional gig, I no longer have a business of my own.  I decided to go back to working for the man.  Life is easier for me that way.

The Next Morning

She:  Couldn’t hack it, huh?  I’m telling you, your blog is a big part of the problem.  I’m happy to offer my networking services to get you back on track.  I’ll even throw in a discount.

Me:  While I appreciate your offer, I must decline.  I’ve had every networking genius out there throw in his two cents, and to be honest with you, that’s part of why I no longer work for myself.

Later That Morning (boy, talk about persistence)

She:  You have a really rotten attitude.  I can’t believe I ever got hooked on your blog.  You’re a liar, too – promoting the positive attitude thing and then turning around and being really negative.

Me:  I’m sorry you feel that way

She:  It hurts my feelings that you won’t let me help you.

Me:  I’m sorry you feel that way

She:  Well, you’ve just lost yourself a reader.  Congratulations!

 

 Congratulations, indeed.

 

Audrey Hepburn: An Elegant Tribute

Audrey Hepburn epitomized grace and style, not only in her appearance, but in her very essence. On this, what would have been her 82nd birthday, I’d like to pay tribute to Ms. Hepburn, and remind us all that true style goes much deeper than fashion.

True, she was born with beauty and enviable bone structure. When Audrey hit Hollywood, the prevailing notion of the acceptable way for women to dress was highly sexual (hourglass shapes teetering upon mincing heels). She offered another way for women to style themselves – and behave. She proved one didn’t have to carry herself ‘in a certain way’ in order to garner attention. Her subtle beauty continues to resonate with women everywhere, I believe. That’s why fashion designers still pay tribute to her in their own ways: crisp white shirts, clean lines, and little black dresses will never go away. It’s all about class and simplicity.

But it went much deeper than fashion with Ms. Hepburn. Audrey was one of the first celebrities to utilize her fame to help others – particularly those that no one seemed to care about. Long before Angelina Jolie made it chic, Audrey visited some of the most desolate places on earth, committing herself fully to reaching out to others who were less fortunate. She continued to do so long after she left the spotlight, and didn’t need a slew of photographers to record her every move. That’s a hard concept to grasp for our ‘reality TV’ generation, but it just goes to show that when you do something from the heart, something you’re passionate about, you don’t need an audience.

Of course, she faced struggles, as we all do: she grew up without a father, survived the Nazi threat in World War II, dealt with unfaithful husbands and two divorces, and lived under constant scrutiny from the media – all while managing her extraordinary film career and raising two children. By all Hollywood accounts, she was absolutely adored by everyone because of her kindness and compassion.

So I guess the point of today’s little musing is this: you can look fantastic while keeping it simple. You can survive anything as long as you have hope, and you can make a difference in this world, provided you’re doing it for the right reasons.

With that, I leave you with one of my favorite quotes from Audrey:

For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.

Very true, Ms. Hepburn…and thank you.

The Foundation of Fabulosity

Well, Sweeties, we’re one week into the New Year. Many of us still buzz about, excited about the wondrous possibilities that 2011 will bring; others of us have already thrown in the towel regarding our recently-set goals (or resolutions, as some call them). I encourage you to take some time, if you’ve not already done so, to really think about the foundation you’re building with regard to success this year. Every thought we think, every action we perform, every word that we utter takes us one step further toward reaching our goals….or not. That’s why we must remain vigilant, keeping our ‘eye on the prize’, so to speak, in order to accomplish anything worthy this year. And me being me, I’ve got a few little elegant ideas to help you kick-start your journey as you build your fabulosity foundation:

1. Decide What You Really Want – None of us will reach a destination if we’ve no idea where we’re going. I encourage you to rise above the status quo and set some lofty goals for yourself. Make them specific (change I want to lose a little weight this year to I want to lose 15 lbs by April 1. Change I want to get more rest to I refuse to work on Sundays this year and will commit myself to getting at least 8 hours of sleep every night). Specificity, my friends, is the key to achieving any sort of success for ourselves.

2. Buy a Full-Length Mirror – There’s no way we can ooze confidence and success if we look like a train wreck. Your outer image does matter in all that you do (stop laughing – it’s true!). If you look like a happy and successful individual, people will assume that you are, and will be drawn to you, thus opening new doors that will lead to new opportunities for you. With that in mind, please know that, in my humble opinion, successful people do not wear any of the following: track suits (other than to the gym), crocs, too-tight or too-revealing anything, or an oversized anything. The first thing people notice is, of course, how we look – keep that in mind the next time you’re tempted to wear pajama bottoms to Starbuck’s.

3. Schedule Down-Time – A period of rest is vital to our overall well-being. So is a period of play. Don’t let work, chores, or half-hearted obligations overrun your schedule. You are in charge of your life, so make it work for you!

4. Turn off the TV – I’ve said it before, and I stand by it: the media has inundated our society with too much news, too much garbage in the guise of entertainment, and too many negative messages. Fill your mind – and your soul- by choosing only to view, read, and listen to those things which are positive, uplifting, and enjoyable. All of it makes its way into our subconscious.

5. Remember the Ripple Effect – Smile at the girl behind the counter. Take a moment to sincerely thank your waiter. Generously tip the man who washes your car. You’ll find that these little niceties go an awfully long way. The recipient of your kindness will, in turn, pay that kindness forward simply because you’ve made his day.

Darlings, it’s the little things that matter. We must consciously choose to be a little more fabulous than the day we were before. Look at yourself in the mirror each day and say, “I am fabulous”. Hit your knees each night and thank your lucky stars for every blessing, no matter how big or small, that befell you that day. You’ll eventually find that you’ve built yourself quite a sturdy foundation of fabulosity.

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach/Author
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!
online consultations available!

The Dating Game

My husband is a musician. Recently, at one of his shows, while he was rocking away on stage, a young man approached me to inquire about my status (quite flattering as I’m a good fifteen years older than he). Anyway, rather than walk away when I kindly informed him that I’m taken, he pulled up a seat and began lamenting the state of dating today.


“It’s so hard to find a nice girl these days,” he said.


“What do you look for in a girl?” I asked.


“I want someone who acts like a lady. I’m tired of all these girls who show up half-dressed and act like they’re porn stars or something.”


Pretty soon, his friends joined us, sharing the same thoughts.

“Sure, the girls who dress provocatively and come on strong get my attention, but only for a while. I’m over it already,” proclaimed one of them.


I’ve wondered just how long this porno-chic, diva-like trend would last. I’m no prude, but I’m quite appalled at the behavior I witness from many women of all ages. I realize the nightclub setting tends to lend itself to certain things, but so many gals these days leave very little to the imagination. Their manner of dress, the words they say, and the way in which they carry themselves is quite disheartening. Evidently, I’m not alone in the way I feel.


Later that evening, a dear friend of mine who’s in his mid-forties and still searching for someone special, concurred with what my new friends said earlier in the evening.


“One lady – that’s all I want. I guess they all must be taken.”


I’m sure they’re not all taken, and I’m sure there are some potential ladies out there who simply don’t know what to do. Ladies, let’s unite and bring back the elegance that’s missing. The men out there will appreciate it, I think.


Beth Newman
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and live your absolute best!