Emerge from the Dark Side

Sometimes, we don’t understand just how dark it is until we start to see the light.

As children, society tells us that there are certain things we can and cannot do. Rewards and recognition may have come with ultimatums (‘If you don’t get better grades, I’ll be so angry with you. You’ll never go anywhere in life if you don’t hang out with this group of kids, and such). Perhaps we were flat-out told to do something in order to make someone else happy (Darling, marry a rich man who can support you – you know, that sort of thing).

We thus become the victims of a limited way of believing. As children, we’re surrounded by the intentions and ideals of parents and teachers. They have goals for us, which is good – to a degree – but oftentimes those goals are presented with the ‘do this or else’ caveat. As a result, we grow up to fear a few things, shun a few things, and generally repeat the cycle as adults.

These limited beliefs, however, only stunt our growth. They may exist as beliefs about our own capabilities (I’m not smart enough), beliefs about what it takes to succeed (I don’t have the funds to do what I want to do), beliefs about how we should relate to other people (even though he’s a pain, I should call Uncle Leo more often), and such. Moving beyond a limited belief system is a critical first step toward becoming truly happy and satisfied. No matter your age, no matter your status (socioeconomically, relationship, etc.), the time to take control and emerge from the darkness of limited belief is now.

You can learn how to identify those beliefs that are limiting you and then replace them with positive ones that support who you want to be (You’ll never be seen as fabulous if you spend most of your time in the gutter). This shift in thinking can mean the difference between a lifetime of ‘could haves’ versus accomplishing what you really want in life.

The key, which you already hold, is to make a decision about who you want to be, how you want to act, and how you want to feel. Our feelings and thought processes play a huge role in creating our lives. Yes, I said creating because that is what we do, whether we realize it or not. Our thoughts, our words, our actions, and even our manner of dress dictate the outcome.

No challenge is too great. We merely must set our minds toward success, feel ourselves being successful, and offer gratitude for the success we’re currently achieving. Replace any thought or belief that is keeping you from achieving your goals with an empowering thought or belief that will take you closer to your goals. Ignore the doom and gloom crowd. Surround yourself with positive, uplifting people, places and things. Stay focused on who you want to be, and know that you are worthy of being that person.

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach/Author
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!
Online consultations available!

January's Nutshell

We’ve officially survived the first month of a new year, Sweeties. 2011 shall rock for us all-if we allow it to do so. It’s important, I believe, to reflect upon our victories and the general day-to-day in order to gauge just how far we’re coming along in the game of life. I’ve been doing just that, and have drawn the following conclusions:

-I really, truly don’t mind getting older. I’m comfortable in my own skin (maybe too much so, at times) and no longer feel as if I have something to prove. Terribly driven in my twenties and thirties, I now realize that my thought patterns far outweigh any actions I could take. Fabulosity is a mindset, and spinning ones wheels won’t get us to our desired destination.

-With age comes a few new ‘adventures’ (my doctor warned me about these), and I’m actually glad to have experienced what I can only assume was my first official hot flash, which occurred on the coldest night of the year. Talk about convenient! Note to husbands whose wives are dealing with the same thing: it’s sweet of you to offer us Advil, but Advil won’t cut it during these particular episodes.

-Going on television is really cool – don’t listen to those who say it’s not (unless, of course, they’ve been featured on some sort of America’s Most Wanted – type show; I can totally understand why they’re not too keen on going before a camera).

-And speaking of cool – reuniting with the grown-up versions of the kids I once taught truly does a heart good. ‘Newman’s Own’ have made me awfully proud!

-Simple Times: Crafts for Poor People, by Amy Sedaris, is a parody of craft books. Those who assumed they’d learn the fine art of macramé or whatever they’re into should have done their homework before buying the book (and sending it, unseen, to their grandmother for Christmas). Sedaris is dark, a bit twisted, but incredibly talented and funny. Her brand of comedy is not for everyone, so if you’re easily offended, take a pass on this one. Silently. Those of us who dig her will appreciate it.

-While on the subject of books, I encourage anyone seeking an elegant role model to read Joanna Lumley, the biography written by Tim Ewbank. Most of us know Ms. Lumley for her delicious portrayal of Patsy Stone on Absolutely Fabulous. A model in swinging sixties London, she rose above many of her peers. Her story is one of hard work, philanthropy, and sheer elegance. Those interviewed for the book describe her as kind, professional, funny, and as someone who goes out of her way to make others feel fantastic. These are traits we should all strive for.

-If you have a connection to the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo, please let me know the best way I can get my hands on discounted Keith Urban tickets.

And that’s my January, in a nutshell.

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach/Author
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!
Online consultations available

Somebody's Watching

A while back, the headmaster of the school where I taught for so many years forwarded to me an essay written by one of his students. Entitled My Most Mannered Teacher, it was about yours truly. This essay detailed the reasons why she felt I deserved kudos for displaying good manners, for treating everyone kindly, and such. I never had this child as a student. She was a little bitty thing in the elementary department, and I was upstairs with my middle school students. I had very little interaction with this young woman, so you can imagine my surprise when I read her essay.

I’m not relating this to you in order to brag, for I feel there are others at this school more deserving of this praise than I. I’m simply hoping to covey just how those little things we do add up, and to stress that someone, somewhere, is watching.

Sure, we can spend all day long telling kids (and adults, too, for that matter) just what to do. But when the rubber hits the road, it’s our actions that will have a far greater impact on them.

We stress to them the importance of speaking highly of others, then turn around and gossip about our neighbor. We tell them to treat others respectfully while we rudely disregard our spouse. We encourage them to have faith during challenging times, then panic or throw a tantrum when things don’t go our way.

Actions speak louder than words –an oldie but a goody, and a cliché that exists for a reason.

So remember, Sweeties, people do remember what you did, and how you made them feel. Your actions could very easily impact someone’s life. You may be someone’s role model. Keep that in mind the next time you’re tempted to forget your manners.

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach/Author
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

Online consultations available!

Savvy Shopping!

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: one needn’t spend a tremendous amount of money in order to look fabulous.

Of course, if you’ve got it to spend, go for it; the rest of us, however, must remain mindful of our money and where it all goes. I’ve been a bargain shopper all my life, and base a good portion of my business showing women how to spend their style dollars wisely. So, with that in mind, I’d love to pass the savings on to you:

1.Shop the sale racks. Stores and boutiques have marked winter items down tremendously now (you can save up to 60% in some places).

2.Know where to go. Not every store has something for everyone. Know what your particular style is, and shop only those stores. Too many stops along the way could lead to confusion, and you may run the risk of buying something you don’t truly love.

3.Shop Resell. Consignment shops are a goldmine! You’ll find high-end, quality goods for a fraction of the cost.

4.Join Customer Rewards Programs. Stores such as White House Black Market, New York and Company, and Express offer fantastic rewards programs. Get on the mailing list and they’ll send you coupons!

5.Quality over Quantity. You really only need a few basic pieces. Mix and match those, and update seasonally with trendy accessories. Take good care of your clothes, and they’ll last for a very long time!

I’ll have more savvy shopping tips Wednesday, January 19 on Great Day Houston (www. http://www.khou.com/great-day). Happy shopping!

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach/Author
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!
Online consultations available!

The Foundation of Fabulosity

Well, Sweeties, we’re one week into the New Year. Many of us still buzz about, excited about the wondrous possibilities that 2011 will bring; others of us have already thrown in the towel regarding our recently-set goals (or resolutions, as some call them). I encourage you to take some time, if you’ve not already done so, to really think about the foundation you’re building with regard to success this year. Every thought we think, every action we perform, every word that we utter takes us one step further toward reaching our goals….or not. That’s why we must remain vigilant, keeping our ‘eye on the prize’, so to speak, in order to accomplish anything worthy this year. And me being me, I’ve got a few little elegant ideas to help you kick-start your journey as you build your fabulosity foundation:

1. Decide What You Really Want – None of us will reach a destination if we’ve no idea where we’re going. I encourage you to rise above the status quo and set some lofty goals for yourself. Make them specific (change I want to lose a little weight this year to I want to lose 15 lbs by April 1. Change I want to get more rest to I refuse to work on Sundays this year and will commit myself to getting at least 8 hours of sleep every night). Specificity, my friends, is the key to achieving any sort of success for ourselves.

2. Buy a Full-Length Mirror – There’s no way we can ooze confidence and success if we look like a train wreck. Your outer image does matter in all that you do (stop laughing – it’s true!). If you look like a happy and successful individual, people will assume that you are, and will be drawn to you, thus opening new doors that will lead to new opportunities for you. With that in mind, please know that, in my humble opinion, successful people do not wear any of the following: track suits (other than to the gym), crocs, too-tight or too-revealing anything, or an oversized anything. The first thing people notice is, of course, how we look – keep that in mind the next time you’re tempted to wear pajama bottoms to Starbuck’s.

3. Schedule Down-Time – A period of rest is vital to our overall well-being. So is a period of play. Don’t let work, chores, or half-hearted obligations overrun your schedule. You are in charge of your life, so make it work for you!

4. Turn off the TV – I’ve said it before, and I stand by it: the media has inundated our society with too much news, too much garbage in the guise of entertainment, and too many negative messages. Fill your mind – and your soul- by choosing only to view, read, and listen to those things which are positive, uplifting, and enjoyable. All of it makes its way into our subconscious.

5. Remember the Ripple Effect – Smile at the girl behind the counter. Take a moment to sincerely thank your waiter. Generously tip the man who washes your car. You’ll find that these little niceties go an awfully long way. The recipient of your kindness will, in turn, pay that kindness forward simply because you’ve made his day.

Darlings, it’s the little things that matter. We must consciously choose to be a little more fabulous than the day we were before. Look at yourself in the mirror each day and say, “I am fabulous”. Hit your knees each night and thank your lucky stars for every blessing, no matter how big or small, that befell you that day. You’ll eventually find that you’ve built yourself quite a sturdy foundation of fabulosity.

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach/Author
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!
online consultations available!

Success Strategies for a New Year

As a new year approaches, we tend to reflect on our lives and devise ways in which to make improvements. Obviously, a new year signifies a rebirth, of sorts – a time to review, revise, and perhaps reinvent. As I’m in the ‘makeover business’, I humbly offer the following food-for-thought as you make those plans for 2011:

1. Decide What You Want – We won’t find success and happiness driving aimlessly through life. We must come to terms with what it is we truly want. Years ago, I decided that full-time broadcasting wasn’t for me. I wanted to teach, and I did that in a traditional classroom setting for a number of years. I realized, however, that middle school English (as noble and rewarding as that profession is) was not where I needed to be. I wanted to instruct others on living well and abundantly. I wanted to help others find their style. I created a plan, and took steps toward bringing that plan to fruition. Scary? You bet! Sailing into unchartered territory always is. My faith and unwavering support from my husband, my family, and my friends helped guide my way.

2.Surround Yourself With Success – We won’t climb higher by hanging out in the ‘Woe is Me’ club. I encourage you to seek out others who have what you want. Hob-knob with the truly happy among us. Bask in the positive vibes of those who have your best interest at heart. Seek those who live serenely and joyfully. It’s time to divorce ourselves of those who bring us down and make us feel less- than-fabulous.

3. Act (and LOOK) the Part – One of the best keys I’ve discovered toward any sort of success I’ve had is by playing make-believe! I started to play the part of a successful person, and very soon doors opened that allowed me to achieve many of my dreams. Too often, people downplay their outer image, thus hindering their chances of reaching certain goals. Track suits, grungy jeans, and crocs do not scream success. Clinton Kelly says, ‘The way you dress tells the world how you expect to be treated.” Do remember that the next time you head out the door.

4.Find a Role Model – Whom do you admire? What traits do they possess that you wish you possessed? Find out as much as you can about that person, and adopt those habits as your own. For me, Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis comes to mind. Her sense of style, her mystique, and the way in which she gracefully overcame tragedy are only a few of the things I admire about her. Insure that your role model is someone who contributes positively to society.

5. Turn off the TV – As I child, I learned the concept of ‘Garbage in, garbage out’. Whatever we put into our heads eventually comes out through our hearts. If we absorb the bad behavior we see on ‘reality TV’, then we’ll soon discover that we’re channeling a great deal of negativity. Say ‘no’, I implore you, to dumbed-down ‘entertainment’. Set your sights on only those things that uplift you. Get out and visit with your neighbors. Go for a walk. Talk to your spouse. Call your mother. Find ways in which to make real connections to real people.

6. An Attitude of Gratitude – When we choose to focus and give thanks for the good things in our lives, more good things come our way. It’s true! God, The Source, or whatever you choose to call it, reads our signals. When we feel grateful for what we’ve got, that higher power gives us even more. Ignore the bad stuff – none of it means anything, anyway. We’re here for only a short time. Let’s be grateful for every second of it.

It is my sincerest wish for you that 2011 will be your happiest and most successful yet!

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach/Author
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

My online course, New Year, New You begins Monday, January 3. Details on my website.

Gracious Guests and Happy Holiday Hosts

Preface: I wrote this little bit of tongue-and-cheek scribbling last year after a particularly trying holiday season. Don’t get me wrong, I adore the holidays, but I feel it’s in our best interest to review our behavior before we begin making our travel and party plans. Enjoy!

My grandmother, who’s just shy of her ninety-first birthday, keeps her home temperature at 140 degrees. On Christmas day, she usually entertains about 2,000 relatives (maybe not that many, but it sure seems like it at times) her in small house….all of whom become hot, sweaty messes within an hour. No one complains about the heat, though, at least not to Nanny’s face because a) it’s rude, and b) Nanny still hits really hard.

Having learned the finer aspects of being a gracious guest very early in life (“We’re all hot; just go outside and roll yourself in the snow!”), I’m compelled to review with you the finer points of what to do when spending the holidays in someone else’s home. I say review because, honestly, deep down, I know you know these things. Yet friends, family, neighbors, and clients have all relayed to me truly horrific tales of truly horrifying guests over the years.

Any hostess worth her salt will inform guests ahead of time of any home issue that might inconvenience her guests (broken heater, low water pressure, a sick cat, etc.) That’s your cue to figure out how to accommodate yourself (bring along a sweater and leave the extra-sudsy shampoo at home). It is incredibly rude to point out the obvious, especially if she’s already pointed it out. Doing so WILL embarrass her, WILL hurt her feelings, and WILL result in her silent vow never to have you back. Should Fluffy’s hairball issue prove too much to bear, feel free to politely excuse yourself and go home (but only after thanking your hostess for a wonderful time).

Body odor is never an acceptable form of protest. If problems exist with your host’s plumbing, you still must find a way to practice good hygiene.

Remember the old saying, “Guests and fish start to stink after three days” (and in some cases, after three minutes). Never overstay your welcome. If you notice your hostess yawning or appearing glassy-eyed, take the hint and leave. (A side note: if you’re co-hosting a ‘do, never tell your co-host, “I told so-and-so-to come over whenever”. By golly, you better call so-and-so back and tell them a specific time -2:00-2:30 sounds nice. Time frames are helpful and provide hope).

Never turn on the television in someone else’s home, unless you’re invited to do so. If you must catch ‘the big game’, there’s probably a lovely sports bar just around the corner.

If you’re an overnight guest, learn and live the rules of the house and always pick up after yourself. Keep your bags and toiletries tidy and as inconspicuous as possible.

Leave your dog at home unless your host gives you the okay to bring him. Don’t yell at other guests if Fido happens to make a run for it out of an opened door. Fido is your responsibility.

Having small children does not give you permission to tell others how to baby-proof their homes. Your hostess may like sharp objects – that’s why she doesn’t have kids. Take heart, though: a hostess with enough snap is already one step ahead of you, and has caged her pet raccoon and locked up her nunchucks.

Don’t take the liberty of dusting someone else’s home, unless you’re asked to do so. A guest who asks, “You know what would make this room look really good?” deserves to be smacked in the gob, so watch it.

Don’t bring brussell sprouts to a party.

If your hostess keeps a framed photo of a certain ‘80’s pop star on her desk, it’s okay to say, “My goodness, you’re so silly,” (trust me, she knows she is), “Hey, look, it’s that guy!” or “My god, that man still looks fantastic after all these years!” (because he does). It’s not okay to say, “Why on earth would you have that?” Your hostess may be tempted to respond with, “Why on earth would you wear those shoes in public?” But your hostess has class, and would never point out something she feels is ridiculous.

If the topic of conversation is the return of the legging, it’s a safe bet no one wishes to discuss the state of the economy. Parties and FOX News do not mix.

Remain mindful of your volume. If you notice other guests going to another room to chat, covering their ears, or waiting by the door for the cops to show up regarding noise complaints, that means you’re probably too loud.

If the party invitation states BYOB, then do it.

A huge difference lies between “Pour me another” and “Call me a cab”. Know your booze limits, and never assume your host will allow you access to her guest room, couch, or front lawn if you pass out.

If you notice a small fire in the bathroom, please alert your host immediately.

Our homes are our sanctuaries, and we should all feel honored when invited into someone’s home. We must remain on our best behavior at all times, even with our closest of kin and best of friends. We expect our children to act accordingly, and they certainly won’t learn that lesson unless we lead by example. Good guests are rewarded with invitations to come back, the fancy coffee (‘not the swill we serve everyone else, Darlene’), and increased admiration. Practice the Golden Rule, my friends, and treat others’ homes they way you’d like for yours to be treated.