My Own Backyard

Charity begins at home – Andria Terence

I believe in giving. I believe in assisting others less fortunate than me. I believe we are a global community, and we must do what we can.

With that being said, I don’t believe that we have to look too far in order to find someone who could use our help.

Our society seems to be a little too focused on reaching out across the seas to lend aid those less fortunate. While my thoughts go out to those in far-away lands who are hungry, ill, or trying to piece their lives back together after some sort of devastation, I can’t help but think there is someone in my own backyard who is also in need.

I wonder what might happen if we focused a little more on our own community. Perhaps our ‘at risk’ kids wouldn’t be at risk anymore. Perhaps the homeless man on the street would have a permanent place to call home. Perhaps the struggling single mom could rest easy knowing she and her children are safe.

Perhaps our country as a whole would be a little (or a lot) better off.
Of course, with myriad charities out there, how do we know where to begin?

My advice: listen to your heart. What are you passionate about? Personally, my concern is children, particularly young women who run the risk of traveling down very dangerous paths. I’m also concerned with the well-being of our four-legged friends. I wish I had the funds – and energy – to contribute to every cause, but I’m just me, and can only do so much.

And if you’re truly passionate about reaching out further than your own backyard to assist someone, go for it. Please don’t let the mainstream media or some dopey celebrity influence you here, though. It’s very chic right now to raise funds for international causes, but chic isn’t what it should be about. Trust me when I tell you, there is someone very close to you who will be just as grateful (and probably more so)that you took time for them.

Let’s clean up our own backyard before we try to tackle someone else’s. We might just amaze ourselves by the results of our efforts.

Beth Newman
Image consultant, life coach, author
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

PS....If you’d like to join me in supporting Girls, Inc (a local organization committed to empowering at-risk girls), please visit http://newmanimage.info/Elegant.html.

Wordly Wise

Words equal power.


In this day of instant communication, and society’s seemingly incessant need to purge itself at every turn, we forget this. In my quest these last couple of years for something more substantial, I’ve discovered that there are consequences to the words we choose. Joel Osteen refers to it as speaking a blessing – when we proclaim ‘woe is me’ or ‘my ex is a worthless sack of you-know-what’, we are ultimately putting the kibosh on good vibes intended for us.


You may not believe in God, or any sort of higher power; that’s your prerogative. You might, though, agree with me that sorry, negative language never benefits anyone. Sure, you may feel better after popping off at the distracted woman behind the counter, but odds are you’ve just ruined her day. She, in turn, will most likely let her ruined day affect someone else. It’s called the ripple effect.


Author and success coach Jack Canfield says that one of his requirements for his staff is that they must avoid negative comments and words while at the office. Mr. Canfield knows that we cannot achieve success if we’re not speaking positively and for the greater good of all involved.


There are four avenues of communication I’d like to share with you today. My intention is, at the very least, that they provide some food for thought.


Social Networking
I suppose the posts I read each day through the likes of Facebook and Twitter got me thinking about the way in which we communicate. I know far too much about people – some of whom I’ve never met. I encourage you, Gentle Reader, to carefully consider everything you post. When you speak ill of someone, it reflects poorly on YOU. I know we must vent from time to time, but the Internet is not the place to do it (unless, of course, you start your own blog like I have ;) Keep it light, breezy, entertaining, and informative. Thank you.


Sarcasm
Now, don’t get me wrong. I tend toward sarcasm on a regular basis, but it is always in jest and only with those who truly know I’m acting silly. There exists a fine art to sarcasm; one must practice it, hone it, and only use it with those who know you well.


Swearing
I’ll admit it: I swear. Not regularly. As with sarcasm, I only do it –on occasion – to get a laugh out of my loved ones. I know my audience – that’s a big one. Words acceptable to my sister may not be appropriate to use in front of my mother. Words acceptable to my mother may not be appropriate to use in front of my grandmother. Timing is everything, too – letting an expletive fly after stumping one’s toe, or following a mascara wand mishap are understandable. Peppering one’s daily language with dirty words is not. To me, those dependent on foul language in order to make a point or to tell a story, come across as uneducated and ignorant.

Oh, and don’t get me started on children who swear. It’s not cute and shouldn’t be encouraged.

Grammar
I’m a former English teacher, so humor me, please. Much of the general adult population needs to go back and review what we learned in middle school. As with swearing, grammatically incorrect conversation benefits no one. If you feel as if you need a quick review, pick up a copy of Clinton Kelly’s How to Be Freakin’ Fabulous (ironic he includes grammar lessons in a book with the word ‘freakin’ in the title, but it’s his book and he can call it whatever he likes). He’s got fun examples on proper parts of speech and correct usage. You can click the Elegant Reading tab here on my blog to order a copy.

I encourage you, Sweeties, to take care when communicating. Represent yourselves well. Insure that what you say serves as a blessing to others…and to yourselves.

PS…If you’ve enjoyed today’s little musing, I’d like to tell you about the Elegant fund I’ve established. Proceeds benefit a wonderful organization called Girls, Inc. To get the scoop, visit http://newmanimage.info/Elegant.html


Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach/Author
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

Garbage In, Garbage Out

You may recall several years ago when Oprah Winfrey stopped airing shows that dealt with the usual day-time talk show fare. Oprah’s smart. She realized the old concept of Garbage In, Garbage Out – what we put into a heads and hearts will surely manifest itself into our daily existence.

A few years back, I found myself in a dark place. I knew I needed to make changes, but I’d built a wall around me so thick that it took a serious Come to Jesus Moment for me to realize just how far I'd gone. Ready for peace, I began taking desperate measures to restore my well-being: I turned off the TV (e-gad!). I stopped reading dumb chick books. I tuned out a lot of music. Best decision I’ve ever made, my friends.

I don’t think we realize how much junk enters our subconscious minds on a daily basis. When we fill our minds with garbage (our own or someone else’s), it truly does play a role in how we feel each day. You can’t feel fabulous in a garbage bin.

In order to establish real relationships (and that includes the one we have with ourselves) we simply have to turn off the noise and start filling our minds with ideas and concepts that will positively serve us. We have to reach out to others in kindness; our goal must be to uplift and enlighten others. What goes around comes around…and that includes everything we say, do, and post on social networking sites. Keep that in mind the next time you feel like going off on a rant…you may feel better, temporarily, but you’ve heaped a huge amount of garbage on someone else (or, at the very least, you’ve forced them to block you from their newsfeed).

Because we live in such a negative society, unfortunately, it’s hard to find sources that nurture us rather than torture us. So I’ve taken the liberty of scouting out a few sites that I hope will provide you with excellent ways in which to occupy your time:

http://www.jackcanfield.com/articles.html
http://www.enlightennext.org/magazine/current/
http://www.contacttalkradio.com/hosts/carimurphy.html
http://www.drwaynedyer.com/daily-inspiration
http://www.joelosteen.com/Broadcast/VideoStreaming/Pages/VideoStreaming.aspx

I also encourage you to remain vigilant about with whom you spend your time. If you don’t feel good around them, get away from them. It really is that simple.

Garbage In Garbage Out – remember that, my friends, and insure you do your absolute best to shield yourself from the junk.

Beth Newman
Image Consultant, Life Coach, Author
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!
Online consultations available!

The Sidewalk

A true tragedy occurred in my little corner of the world recently. Without going into too much detail, a troubled young man is no longer with us. I saw this young man frequently, we chatted occasionally, and that was the extent of our relationship. I witnessed authorities remove his lifeless body from his parents’ home, and it’s had me thinking an awful lot about life…how we spend it, with whom we spend it, and how much of it is caught up in idleness and unproductive behaviors.

It’s caused me to review how I while away my hours. I know I tend to spin my wheels and focus on business far too much. I’ll burn myself out on it completely– physically, emotionally, and spiritually -if I’m not careful. I need a hobby…a daily diversion…a little outlet, if you will, in order to wind down from the day-to-day.

That, of course, leads me to the whole ‘life balance’ issue: have I been diligent in forming true bonds with people? Do I follow-up as well as I could with family and friends? Truth be told, I’m terribly shy and guarded, and I often go on the assumption that my family and friends know how much I care about them. That old cliché of action speaking louder than words exists for a reason….

I suppose this young man’s death opened my eyes a little bit, and it certainly has forced me to take stock in my own life. I need to reach out a bit more. I need to slow down. I need to become more aware that someone who shares a sidewalk with me might be in the market for a bigger smile as we head to our cars each morning, or a little more conversation at the mailbox each evening.

Because, really, when it gets down to it, life is about making those true connections. We should never leave anyone wondering how we feel about them. We should never get so caught up in ourselves that we miss out on true, meaningful, life experiences. Simple concepts, really, but ones we don’t adhere to as often as we should. I intend to change that about myself; how about you?

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach/Author
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!
www.newmanimage.info

February's Nutshell

I believe in the importance of regularly conducting a life inventory, and have made a monthly practice of it. It never ceases to amaze me just how much I learn about myself and this world when I allow myself time for such reflection. So it is with much love (and a little sarcasm) that a share with you, Gentle Reader, my little epiphanies for February:

-Valentine’s Day is an over-rated conspiracy instigated by card companies. My beloved and I don’t need a specified day in order to express how we feel about each other. We do it daily, through our words and deeds (though I confess he’s much more a pro at it than I). Anyone who gets her nose out of joint because her Mister didn’t send the right flowers should really take a good, hard look at herself.

-On the subject of love, nothing strengthens the bonds of a relationship quite like the shared experience of a bad restaurant. And by bad restaurant, I mean poor service, under/overcooked food, and watered-down lime juice described as the House Margarita. Throw in a woman blowing her nose quite loudly at the next table, and you’ve got yourself a surreal experience, for sure. So thank you, TGI Fridays of Sugar Land, for laying yet another brick in the already strong foundation of Team Newman!

-When it comes to haircuts, sometimes it’s best to take matters (and scissors) into your own steady hands, no matter how much you adore your well-meaning but partially deaf hairdresser.

-When one starts visualizing and setting intentions for certain outcomes, one must be ready for doors to open. I’m quite thrilled with certain events that have transpired…events that will benefit me and others. I am grateful.

-I’ve learned over the past couple of years just how precious time is. That’s why I’ve grown quite particular about how I spend my time…and with whom.

-We’re all energy, and the amount of energy and the type of energy we emit into the universe certainly comes back to us.

-Anyone who drops the ‘F Bomb’ while accepting an award should have that award immediately ripped from her hands.

And that, Sweeties, is my month…in a nutshell.

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach/Author
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!
Online consultations available!

Some Achy-Breaky Accountability

Billy Ray Cyrus told GQ Magazine recently that Hannah Montana is to blame for his family’s troubles.

Really, Mr. Cyrus?

Who allowed his young daughter into the spotlight at such a young age? Who insured that he’d get a co-starring role in her show once his own fame had dwindled? Who seemed ok with a questionable photo shoot a couple of years ago?

You did, Mr. Cyrus.

Accountability is defined as taking responsibility for one’s actions, and there’s precious little of it, these days.

It’s quite easy to point the finger and blame others for our woes, but when the rubber hits the road – as it certainly will, we are ultimately responsible for what happens to us. Now, with that being said, Miley Cyrus, at 18, is plenty old enough to take responsibility for her actions. Teens do stupid things, yet most don’t have the opportunity – or misfortune - to do it in front of a camera. I find it quite distressing that Miss Cyrus was, evidently, never taught that with fame comes responsibility…little girls everywhere once looked up to her, and those little girls may have grown into young women who still look to her for their cues.

And please don’t give me that garbage that bad behavior comes with being a child star. For every Miley Cyrus, Lindsey Lohan, and even Danny Bonaduce, I offer you a Ron Howard, Jodie Foster, and Kurt Russell. I’ll see your cast of Eight is Enough and raise you The Cosby Kids (with the exception, perhaps, of Lisa Bonet). Kirk Cameron from Growing Pains sponsors his own ministry these days, and the only faux pas committed by The Facts of Life girls came from Mindy Cohn, when her poor fashion choices landed her on What Not to Wear.

(Side Note: I watched too much TV as a kid, and have definitely aged myself in that last paragraph)

As adults, we are accountable for our successes and failures. We are responsible for encouraging and inspiring our children to grow into good, decent adults. We must stop playing the blame game and take ownership of our lives. We must fess up to our mistakes and get on with things. And you can put that in your achy-breaky pipe and smoke it, darling.

An Elegant Review: Grammy Fashion 2011

I must preface this by telling you, Sweeties, that I’m not big on award shows, particularly the Grammys. I won’t get into all the reasons why; I’ll merely share with you today what I think is the most vital part of any awards ceremony: the fashion! So let’s take a look at Beth’s Hits and Misses for the 2011 Grammys:

Hits:

Nicole Kidman – She looked absolutely stunning. Her dress (John Paul Guiltier) suited her figure, complexion, and her revised, ravishing red locks! The fact that her face is once again mobile is a plus – she truly looks like a happy woman, and happiness surely is the best style accessory.

Jennifer Hudson – Had she worn her particular choice (Versace) to any other awards show besides the Grammys, I wouldn’t have been all that jazzed about it. But given the venue, I loved it. Everything about her look worked!

Kelly Osbourne – She’s gone from a semi-bratty, potty-mouthed child of rock to a lovely, potty-mouthed fashionista! Her dress (Tadashi Shoji) exuded sheer fun, and worked so well for the occasion.

Honorable Mention – Jennifer Lopez. Not usually a fan of super-short dresses, I thought J. Lo looked fantastic and completely at ease. Everything about it rocked!

First Style Fashionista Award: Selena Gomez – Absolutely lovely and age-appropriate. Her dress (J. Mendel) worked for her on every level – fit, color, and completely suitable for someone her age.

Misses:

Rhianna – Precious few can get away with vertical stripes, and Rhianna is no exception. I’m desperate for her to lose the orange hair, too.

Kim Kardashian – Her metallic number just didn’t seem to fit her. She’s a curvy gal, and nothing about her choice worked for her in any capacity (including the Miss America hairstyle)

Nicki Minaj - Ugh

Near Miss

Eva Longoria. If she were only a bit taller, I would have loved her in this outfit. Gals on the shorter side must exercise caution with any sort of drapping and or ruffle effect.

First Style Oh-No-She-Didn’t! Award: -Willow Smith. Talk about a hot mess, and shame on Will and Jada for allowing their daughter to leave the house in this one…to attend an awards show, no less. Parents, please stress to your children the importance of ‘dressing for the occasion’


And the Gents…

Hits

Keith Urban, John Legend, and Mick Jagger get my vote for the best dressed of the evening.

Honorable Mention John Mayer exemplified casual elegance.

Misses
Usher disappointed me with his strange choice in footwear. Sean Combs usually impresses me, but I didn’t care for his choice of trouser. Nothing about Adam Levine’s look worked for me.

And the First Style Fancy Lad Award(sorry, it’s the best name I could come up with on short notice- but it’s kind of catchy, don’t you think?)goes to Justin Bieber – looking snazzy in his slightly oversized white tux!

Of course, my Man, WTH award goes to Cee Lo Green. Honestly – what was that all about?

To check out photos of my hits, misses, and everything in between, visit www.stylebistro.com.

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach/Author
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!
Online consultations available!